


Paper Bird

by nocturnalmalfoy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Complete, Gay Sex, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-30 06:42:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 24,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19847680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nocturnalmalfoy/pseuds/nocturnalmalfoy
Summary: “ Our chest were touching. He took my face in his big hands. He was looking at me from bellow and I was looking up at him since he was taller. I was admiring his traits. I've never seen him from this close. His skin was flawless."I love you." He whispered before dropping a kiss on my lips “In which Hogwarts students return for their eighth year and where Draco finally admits his feelings for harry.*complete work:)*





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I’m very bad at first chapters lmao please give the second chapter a chance.

We were all three: Hermione, Ron and I in the train, ready for our eighth year at Hogwarts.  
They had just gave me my birthday gift which was a new bird since Hedwig sadly passed last year.  
It was a barn owl with pretty black eyes.

"So Hermione, how was your summer at the Weasley's?" I asked.

"Not bad. I mean, I wish I could've went back to MY house, but it was great. You?"

Because Hermione used obliviate on her parents, she had no longer a family to take care of her. Molly gently offered...well...gently forced Hermione to come at their house. She said she could stay in Ginny's room.

"Vernon is still a pathetic fat jealous shitless bully and Petunia got even more evil. Can you believe that?"

"What about Dudley?" Asked Ron.

"For some reason, he left me alone."

"Probably the dementors." I shook my head in agreement. 

"I can't believe it's our last year." Said Hermione

"I know right. Time flies." I replied.

"We're all gonna stay friends after, right."

"Of course, Hermione."

The rest of the road was pretty silent. Ron was eating his candies, Hermione reading her book and me looking out the window.

Once finally arrived to the school, we went into the great hall to see fist years being sorted in their houses. It was pretty boring if I'm being honest. Then we went to bed. Ron and I stayed talking late in the boys' room for a bit.

"So was it great with Hermione at yours?" I asked with a smirk, wanting juicy details.

"I don't know. We fought a lot. Mainly over stupid things but I liked seeing her every day. I mean I already see her everyday at school but it's different in summer."

"Did you..?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"Of course not. She's not like that. We kissed, yes, but that's all."

There was au pause before I continued talking.

"How did Ginny took me ignoring her all summer? I feel bad. I should have told her I wasn't ready."

"You know, surprisingly, she understood. I mean, you died and then came back to life to kill Voldemort. But she's back with Thomas." I looked at him with surprise.

"Really? I thought she hated him."

"Why? You're jealous?"

"What? Me? No. Not at all." On my words, he looked at me, confused. "What?"

"I'm trying to figure out if you're being sarcastic or not." 

"Idiot. No I'm being serious."

Shortly after, we went to bed.

I woke up the next morning NOT ready for my day. It was raining outside and everything seemed depressed, including myself. I was so tired and not even hungry for breakfast.

On my way to the great hall, I met Draco and he took my arm, making me follow him.

"What the hell? Leave me!"

"Shut up." He said trying to whisper.

He finally let my arm go when we were isolated in a corner between two always.

"This is our last year and- and there's something I need to get off my chest."

"I don't care, Malfoy. I don't want to be late."

"Just meet me here after Dinner. 8pm." He looked at me waiting for an answer.

Is he being...nice? Feeling somewhat guilty for being rude to him, I agreed to meet him later.

I've spent the entire breakfast looking at him, wondering what he had to tell me. It's important that's for sure. Otherwise he would have just told me when we met earlier.

"Harry?..Harry?.. Harry?!" Hermione took me out of my thoughts.

"What?"

"Stop starring at Malfoy. It's creepy."

"I wasn't looking at him."

"Harry I'm not stupid."

"Well.." Giggled Ron.

"Oh Ron! No one asked your opinion!" She said to him then continued with me. "Is there something we need to know?"

"No. He just wants to tell me something tonight. I was trying to figure out what it could be."

The day seemed so long. I was waiting with impatience after every classes that 8 pm comes.


	2. Eye Fucking

I was waiting in the corner for Malfoy to come. Not even a minute later he appeared at the end of the hallway. I awkwardly waited for him to walk to me.

"Right on time, Potter."

"I'm rarely late." I said defending myself.

Before speaking, Draco took a deep breath as if he was building his courage.

"You know, back in the room of requirements..."

"You mean the one you almost died in because you set the whole thing on fire?" He sighed.

"Yes. Well you asked me why I didn't tell her, Bellatrix. I never thought i would one day be brave enough to tell you the truth. Especially not with my friends around."

"What are you saying?"

"I didn't tell her because I didn't want anything to happen to you."

"I get it. You're not an evil person."

"No you don't understand.I- I love you. I've been a dick to you all these years trying to prove myself that I wasn't in love with you."

"Draco! Come see this!" yelled Pansy from far away, laughing.

"I'm sorry. I got to go." And he started running in her direction.

"Wait Draco I-" and he was already too far. 

He looked at me one last time with sadness in his eyes before walking away in the garden.

What in the bloody hell just happened?  
Was he just messing with me? Was he actually serious?

I was standing there, not moving, in shock and confusion.

On my way back to the common room, my mind was spinning. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. And I couldn't tell if I liked him back. I think I do but... I don't know. I'm so confused. I mean, I had moments thinking about him in a not straight way but it was obviously just a dumb teenager fantasy... or was it?

"Guys I- there's something I need to tell you." I said as I entered the Griffyndor common room

"What is it? "Said ron, his mouth full of chocolate. 

He really didn't learn his lesson. Last time he ate chocolate that wasn't his, he ended up almost dying from poisoning.

"Draco he-" I was still speechless, trying to put in a phrase what he told me.

"I know, he gave up being death Eater. I'm not surprised though. He was such a pussy." Said Ron.

"Look who's talking." Replied Hermione making Ron look away in anger.

"No he loves me." Hermione and Ron both looked at me with confusion and surprise on their faces.

"What do you mean, Harry?" Asked Hermione.

"He told me he was in love with me."

"Really funny." Sarcastically said Ron.

"He what?" Cut Hermione.

"I'm not joking. he stopped me in the hallway and told me he was...protecting me from Voldemort. He said he was being rude to me to convince himself he wasn't in... love with me."

"Draco is gay. Well ive seen it all." Joked Ron

"I'm not joking. This is serious. I don't know what to do."

"But harry you're straight aren't you?" Asked Hermione.

"I mean I don't know anymore."

"Why's that?"

"I had moments thinking about him too."

"Do you think Voldemort saw that? When he was getting into your head?" 

"Ron shut up." Said Hermione while rolling her eyes.

"I'm gonna go to bed." I said before going upstairs 

I lay down in my bed thinking about everything but mostly Draco.

The next morning, We were on our way to potion classe when we saw Draco coming in my direction. He wasn't alone. Both Hermione and Ron turned to me waiting to see my reaction. I tried to smile at him but he avoided all eyes contact. It made me kind of sad seeing him like this.

Even in potion class he didn't talked to me or mocked me. Actually, he didn't talked at all. He was focusing on drawing in his note book. I've never seen him draw before. Maybe because I wasn't paying as much attention to him as I'm doing right now.  
He was still looking sad. I don't know why but it was affecting me. I would rather see him being a happy jerk than a sad lover.

A while after when the class was almost finished, he slid a piece of paper on the floor in my direction. I picked it up and it said "Meet me at the Prefects bathroom after this class."

I looked at him but he was already drawing again.

After what seemed like eternity, the class finally ended. I told Ron and Hermione I was gonna meet them later. They didn't question and went into a different direction.

When I arrived to the bathroom, Draco was already there. He was sitting by the bath, his legs crossed.

"Hi." He said.

I sat next to him.

"Hey." I took a deep breath. "I- I've been feeling confused lately. I wouldn't say I love you back but..." I was searching for the right thing to say. 

I looked up to my right to look at him. I was looking at his eyes. They were sparkling and he had a sublime smile on his lips. I continued, looking at my hands because looking at him made me feel nervous.

"I had moment where I was wondering what would have happened if I would have been in slytherin, been closer to you." I felt myself blushing. He was still listening, waiting for more, which I did gave him: 

"I don't know how to put this in words but I think I...I'm questioning myself basically and I told hermione and R-" he interrupted me.

"You told those morons?"

"I mean... what were you expecting?" I asked looking back into his eyes.

"You are an idiot, Potter." He said gently laughing.

We sat there, looking at eachothers eyes. My heart started to beat faster. I felt butterflies invading my stomach.   
He was so tall. Even when we were sitting he was still taller than me and still very intimidating.   
He then looked down to my lips and looked back up into my eyes. His bright grey eyes were looking directly into my soul. He got a little closer and I started blushing even more.

"Take time to think about your feelings. I'll be waiting."

And he kissed me on the forehead, got up and left.

He left me alone in the bathroom. 

Moaning Myrtle laughed.

"Oooh! Some boy drama here. You know harry, I always knew you were different."

"Shut up, Myrtle. I'm not gay."

"Maybe not gay but bisexual for sure." She said laughing again.

"Shut up!" I raised my voice at her which only made her giggle even more.

"C'mon Harry. I saw all if it, the way you looked at him, the way you wanted him. You were eye fucking each other."

"Eye what?"

"Fucking Harry, eye fucking." She then laughed again and flew away.

I went in the hallway to see Ron and Hermione waiting.

"How'd it go?" Asked Ron

"What are you talking about?" I said pretending like nothing happened.

"C'mon Harry. We saw Draco coming out before you." Answered Hermione.

I sighed.

"I think I might be bisexual."

"Harry that's brilliant!" Said Hermione all happy.

"How is that brilliant?" She was taken by surprise. Probably not expecting a negative response to her support.

"Hum- I- I- dont know I meant- I meant good for you." She said as she tried to explain herself.

"What happened in there?" Asked Ron again.

"We were apparently eye fucking each other."

"Eye what?" Questioned Ron.

"Exactly."

"Looking at each other intensly in a sexual way." Clarified Hermione.

"How come she knows that?" Said Ron directly to me.

"Everyone knows that. You too are just dumb idiots." Fought Hermione back.


	3. Paper Bird

I went to bed feeling extremely confused. I was rethinking about everything that just happened and even an hour after I'd still get butterflies rewatching him kissing my forehead like a movie in my head. It must mean something.  
Tomorrow, I should spend the day with him. It could probably help me figure out my feelings.  
Or not...because I don't want him to get to attached and then be hurt. But if I don't want him to be hurt it's because he matters to me.  
What if he's just playing with me?  
And what even is this? I went from hating for his beliefs and just being a coward overall and now I'm rethinking about every time I was close to him and getting goosebumps everywhere. Like that one time I saved him with my broom. He was holding me so tight. I remember even feeling his breath on my neck.

I started to struggle keeping my eyes open.

What if he's actually dead serious? When did all of this started? When did he start catching feelings? Are they strong feelings?  
Does- does his father knows?  
I have so many questions.

I ended up falling asleep, thinking about Draco and I.

The next morning, I was woken up by Ron snoring. I looked on the clock and it showed "6:43". Not that early. I decided to get ready instead of waiting for the others the wake up. I put on my shirt, my pants, my tie trying to make as less noise as possible. Once I was done I sat on my bed, waiting.   
I had a nightmare last night, again but it was different. It wasn't as scary. I don't exactly remember what happened but I didn't woke up, meaning it ended well. That hasn't happened in a very long time. I feel refreshed. A good night of sleep really helps.

"What are you doing already ready?" Asked Ron with his morning voice.

"I had a good night of sleep so I woke up early." 

It was now 7:00 and all alarm clocks rang, making everyone wake up.  
I still had half an hour to kill before breakfast so I decided to go in the common room only to see Hermione reading a book while sipping her tea, sitting at the table. I sat in front of her, waiting for her to noticed me which took a while. I tapped on her book which made her look up at me.

"Oh Harry. Didn't see you. You slept well? I had the best dream ever."

"I actually did have a good night but tell me about your dream."

"I was with my parents and we went picnicking." And she smiled.

"I'm glad for you."

"Hey guys." Said Neville sitting next to me. "I had the weirdest dream ever."

"What is it with dreams today?" I said laughing.

"I was with Snape but he was all dressed in pink. He asked me to call him Dolores." And we three started laughing.

"I don't know what you ate before going to bed but you shouldn't eat some tonight." Proposed Hermione still laughing.

"C'mon guys it's 7:24. We should go." Said Ron as he came in.

Neville, Hermione and I stood up and we four went to the great hall to eat.

I sat at the table ready to eat. I was starving and all that food looked and smelled so good. I first took some scramble eggs and put them in my plate. I was so hungry I wasn't talking, only eating.  
I then looked up to realize that behind Hermione was Draco, facing me on the other table.  
I automatically looked down, not wanting him to know I was staring at him.   
I continued eating my eggs.

"I'm not gonna lie, I would have stayed in bed." Said Ron, half sleeping on the table.

"Why aren't you eating." Asked Hermione.

"I'm not hungry." Hermione and I looked at each other in shock

"Who are you and what have you done to Ron?" I asked joking.

What was it with him?  
Was it because he was just tired or was he sad? Why would he be sad? I mean, maybe it's Hermione.

I looked at him with sad eyes when I noticed from the corner of my eye that Draco was staring at me. Instead of looking away when i turned my head to see him, he smiled at me. I smiled back and I could feel myself getting red. I then looked down to my plate and drank some water.

"Harry? Are you alright?" Asked Hermione touching my forehead to take my temperature.

"Yes why?"

"You're all red."

"It's Draco." Said Ron with his head resting on his arm.

"No it's not." I said angry.

Hermione looked behind her and saw Malfoy was in front of me.

"It IS Draco." Said Hermione putting emphasis on the is. "You too have chemistry."

"It makes no sense. He's been a total dick to me, and you guys, for the past seven years and now, all of the sudden, he likes me. You also seem to forget his racist past."

"But you don't get it Harry." Answered Hermione. "He's been doing it to get your attention. Did it worked?"

"I mean... yes... I guess."

"If Draco wouldn't have been a bully, would you have gave him all this attention? Always trying to win this war between you two, you would go back to him to prove him wrong."

"But you. Why was he mean to you two? You guys have nothing to do with this."

"We're your weakness, Harry. If he would treat me bad, you would fight for me. If he would be mean to YOU, you would have ignored him. Am I right?"

"You are."

After breakfast we head to defence of the dark arts which was Snape's class.

"Welcome back, everyone. Take your books to page 165."

"He said welcome. He's nicer than usual." Whispered Ron in my ear.

"Mr. Weasley! Anything you would like to share?!"

"No sir."

"Great."

After the end of our last class, Hermione, Ron and I decided to go see Hagrid to talk because we didn't have anything else to do.

On our way, I asked Ron and Hermione not to tell Hagrid about all of this Draco thing.

"If any of you two open your mouth about Draco, I will end you."

"Okay." They both said at the same time.

When arrived, we knocked on the door and Hagrid greeted us with a big hug.

"So how is everyone doing? Tea?"

"I'd like some please." Responded Hermione. He then turned around making us face his back to boil some water. "Well for now, nothing special really happened."

"What about you hagrid." I questioned. "How was your summer?"

"Oh you know, the usual, me and my creatures." He said laughing. 

We stayed at Hagrid's way longer than expected, when we started heading to our rooms, it was already dark outside.

I arrived to my room and was gonna jump on my bed until I saw something on it. I looked and there was a flower, a paper bird and a note. I read the note.

"I was walking when I saw this flower. It reminded me of you: tiny and beautiful.

-Draco xx"

I sat on my bed and held the flower in my hands, looking down at it. It was a red poppy.  
I searched for a vase to put it in it but didn't find one so I just took a water bottle. I placed it on my nightstand. I then took the paper bird and unfolded it. It was a drawing of me with a "D.M" as a signature. So he was drawing me in potion class. I feel like this boy is going to make me go crazy.

I placed the note on my nightstand next to the flower, sat in my bed and looked at the drawing.


	4. Exhausted

I was still sitting on my bed, looking at my new favourite piece of paper. The more I thought about it, the more I liked it. If he drew this, it means he's been looking at me, examining my traits. Hermione suddenly came in the boys room without knocking.

"What's that?" She asked pointing the paper with her chin.

"Nothing" I said hiding the drawing of me under the blanket.

"I'm not an idiot, Harry."

"What are you doing here anyway?"

"I wanted to warn you that draco's downstairs." She responded with a big smile

"Hes what?!" I got up in three seconds to rushed down the stairs 

He was there, sitting on the couch, facing the fireplace. I could see his pale hair.

"I'll leave you two alone." On her words, Draco realized I was there and he stood up walking in my direction.

Hermione left the common room, going to the girls room.

I looked down, feeling intimidated by Draco's height but he pushed my chin up with his index fingertip. He had a soft smile on his face. I don't think I ever saw him smiling like that before. I'm not talking about his malicious smile after he called someone out. This was a genuine happy smile. A soft smile.

"Why are you here?" I finally said, breaking the silence.

"I just wanted to see you." I felt myself getting red.   
"When I think about it, I'm actually glad your friends know. About...us." He stopped, looked at me, trying to see my reaction but i just smiled. "I don't have to make up stupid lies every time I come."

"You came before?"

"Yes, once but I will come more, that's for sure." We both gently laughed.

He then got a little closer to me and took my hands.

"You like the flower I got you?" I looked down to his hands holding mine. He was rubbing his thumb on the back of them.  
"I know it's girl stuff to get flowers but I really thought it was beautiful." I looked back to him into his grey eyes but he wasn't looking at my eyes. 

He was looking at my lips. My stomach started to feel all twisted from excitement and anxiety. 

"Yes I really like it. The drawing too." He smiled at me.

He started to tilt his head and lean in for my lips. I closed my eyes and went closer to him as well.

"I'm so exhausted!" Ron came suddenly in the room and Draco and I, both taken by surprised, pulled away from each other. "Oh. Am I interrupting something?"

"No-" I said but I was cut off by Draco.

"Yes you bloody idiot!" He then took my hand and dragged me out of the common room with him. 

On my way out I looked at Ron and he said "Sorry" in silence for me to read on his lips.

Once out of the room, Draco started walking slower which made us walk hands into hands. We were walking in the hallway.

"Where are we going?"

"I don't know."

"But we can't be in the hallway this late at night." And on those words, Mr. Flich turned a corner to face us. We rapidly got away from one another.

"Well well. Aren't you two supposed to be asleep?"

"It's my fault Mr. Flich." Said Malfoy.

"No it's mine." I said to defend him.

Mr. Flich looked at the both of us, very confused.

"Well I'll bring you both to the headmistress."

"There's no need to wake her up sir." I said

"It's only 10pm. She doesn't sleep." And we followed him.

We arrived into her office which was just like Dumbledore left it. The main difference was that the red bird was gone.

"Well, well, well. This isn't the first time I catch one of you in the hallway past the curfew. Anything to say in your defence?"

"It was me McGonagall. Not harry."

"No me. I bring him in the hallway."

"No I did." He said turning around facing me.

"No I'm the one who needs to be punished." I turned to face him as well.

"No I-" McGonagall cut me.

"Enough of you two. I don't know what's going on here but you both will get detention. This wasn't your first warning Potter and neither you Malfoy." We both look down as she continued.   
"Tomorrow night, you will go in the Forbidden Forest. Some students made a real mess and put trash everywhere as a.. joke I'm guessing. I was gonna ask Mr. Flich but I think he deserves a night of rest."

"Thank you m'am." Said Flich before leaving.

"Now you two go back to bed and I better not catch you doing anything of the sort in the future. Have I made myself clear?"

"Yes." We both said at the same time.

We walked out of her office and started our way to our rooms. His being far from mine, he had to go in another direction but before that he simple said:

"I'm sorry but at least we'll spend time together." And I smiled at him. I took the stairs and he continued his way.

I arrived to the common room and Hermione was waiting on the couch. As soon as she noticed my presence she turned around with her big curious eyes.

"So what happened?" I looked down.

"Nothing actually. We were walking and Flich took us to McGonagall."

"Oh. Detention?"

"Exactly. Anyway, good night."

"Good night." She said back before digging her face in her books again.

I went up stairs and Ron and Nevil were already asleep. I slide myself into the blankets, realizing I left Draco's drawing there. I took it and pressed it on my chest, against my heart.

An entire night with him tomorrow.

"You can't sleep either?" Asked Ron making me jump by surprise.

"You scared me. I thought you were sleeping."

"What is this?" He asked pointing the poppy.

"Nothing."

"Harry."

"Draco. He got it for me."

"That's gay."

"I'm not." He got up to sit in his bed.

"Harry, you're in love with a boy. I don't know how you call that but I call it gay."

"I never said I was in love with him."

"Look at you, holding a piece of paper against your heart. Your bloody heart, Harry."


	5. Safe

I woke up the next morning feeling extremely well. I didn't have any nightmare last night. Just sweet dreams.

How? It never happened since I stepped a foot in this school.

I dreamed about Draco. We were together. I felt so safe.  
It made no sense. Malfoy is one of the worst person I've ever met. How could I feel safe around him? How come I even think about the possibility of liking him? 

"Good morning guys!" Said Neville, way too enthusiastic.

"Hi." Said Ron with a grumpy voice.

"What is it with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're not okay. There's something bothering you."

"No."

"Ron you can talk to me." He didn't answer back, got up and started dressing up. "Ron-" 

"Just leave me!" He said rising his voice. 

I didn't say anything else and started dressing up too. When finished, I sat by the window, waiting for him to be done but he didn't even looked at me and left.

"What was that all about?" Asked Neville.

Not gonna lie, I forgot he was there.

"He's been impatient lately. I don't know why."

"Yeah I saw that." He then went downstairs following Ron.

I stayed a bit by the window, looking outside, getting lost in my thoughts.

It was a rainy day.

Sometimes I feel alone. And now was one of them moments.   
Even if hermione and ron are amazing friends, I feel like they dont get me. Like I'm alone in this, whatever this is. I'm surrounded by people who loves me and I still feel alone.  
In the day, everything is fine, but when the night comes, I get all sad. Yes Ron is there, sleeping next to me but he won't be the one to rassure me after I had a nightmare. And Hermione is a really caring person but she won't be the one to cuddle with my at night and play in my hair.

I need someone...  
I... I need Draco.

Shit! Tonight is the detention. I totally forgot. I can't. I can't be in the same room as him without turning red tomato. Imagine having to stay with him an entire afternoon.

And what if he tries to kiss me again? I can't. I'm gonna panic. I'm gonna panic and ruin it all. I'm gonna ruin it all and hurt him.

I need to find him. Tell him how feel.

I got off the side of the window and ran downstairs.

"Harry?" Asked Hermione a little worried who was sitting by the fire with Ron.

"I'll explain later." I said running to the door.

I was looking everywhere, trying to find Draco. I was running in the hallways, I searched floor by floor until I found him. I totally froze. He was there, laughing with his friends to something that was probably not that funny.

What do I do? Do I just...go and ask him to come with me? Do I just take him with me?

"Potter, what are you looking at?" Asked Blaise in a threatening way.

What do I do now?

"C-can I talk to D-Draco?" On my words, Draco turned around facing me.

He looked at his friends in confusion and then started walking in my direction. When he got closer to me, I started walking as well to find a place where we could have privacy.

"Harry, what are you doing?"

"There's something I need to tell you."

"We can't see each other in the day like this. Others are gonna notice."

"That's why I'm looking for privacy." I was walking extremely fast because of my anxiety that was taking over all my body.

I was walking really fast but Draco seemed fine since he had longer legs than me.

We then finally arrived to a bathroom. I went in and he followed me.

"I know what I'm feeling." I said looking at him. He was looking down.  
"I don't know how all if this happened. I don't understand how I never realized that before but I need you, Draco." He finally looked up to me.  
"When I think about you, I get all...weird. I don't know how to put it in words. When you're there, with me, I get anxious but the good type of anxious." I was searching for my words.  
"I dreamed about you, last night. I felt so safe. I want this. I want it to be more than a dream." After I finished he got extremely close to me.

Our chest were touching. He took my face in his big hands. He was looking at me from bellow and I was looking up at him since he was taller.I was admiring his traits. I've never seen him from this close. His skin was flawless.

"I love you." He whispered before dropping a kiss on my lips.

I closed my eyes and prayed this never stopped but he pulled away immediately.

"I'm sorry. I- I shouldn't have." He said before leaving.

"Draco! Wait."

Fuck. I ruined it.  
I went to the wall and sat on the floor, my back leaned on the wall.

I sat there for a very long time, thinking.

Maybe he just got scared and he'll come back. Maybe he thought I was scared.  
Maybe he regrets it, everything. Maybe he regrets telling me he loves me because he doesn't anymore.  
He just told me "I love you." But maybe he didn't meant it.  
Why would he love me anyway?

I felt a tear running down my cheek.

"Harry?!"

"Harry where are you?!"

I hear Ron and Hermione yelling my name as they enter the bathroom.

I immediately whipped my tear off with my sleeve.

"Harry, are you alright?" Asked Hermione as she kneeled down to get on my level.

"He left." She looked back at Ron in confusion then back at me.

"Who left, Harry?"

"Draco." She looked down feeling empathy.  
"It was perfect but he left."

"He's not worth it Harry."

"Hermione, can you leave me and Ron alone a second?" She didn't say a thing and left quietly.

I got up and walked to Ron since he was a little far from me.

"What is it, Ron?" I asked

"It's Hermione. She doesn't care about me."

"That's what she's trying to show, Ron. Try to get closer to her and you'll see. She likes you."

"You missed first period. Everyone was sick worried."

I got up and followed him and Hermione to our next class.


	6. Chess

The day was extremely long but I was glad it was. I was scared to see Draco tonight. I didn't want to face him. I had this feeling that I was gonna cry when I see him and that would be the worst possible thing to happen.  
But there I was, waiting next to Flich for Malfoy to arrive.

"You better have it all cleaned before 7 pm or there will be more consequences." Spat Mr. Flich

And then I saw him, at the other end of the hallway. He started to jog to arrive to us faster. I was starting to blush.

"Hi, Potter." He said smiling like if nothing happened before.

"Hi, Malfoy." I said in a monotone voice which made his smile fade away.

We both followed Flich as he started walking towards the forest. We didn't talk all the way.  
Once arrived, we handed us two trash bags and one lamp.

"Well here goes nothing." I said before stating to walk deeper in the forest.

"I'm sorry... for earlier." Said Draco as we walked.

"What happened? Why'd you pull away?"

"I was scared you'd think things are moving too fast."

"They are moving fast but...I'm not complaining about it." I looked at him for the rest of my explanation.  
"I'm still a little confused because this is so sudden but I feel great around you." He looked back at me with a smile.

We then heard a noise somewhere in the bushes and both froze from fear. 

The noise stopped and we continued walking.

"Probably just a rabbit." I said. 

We arrived to the pile of trash. It smelled awful. We both looked at each other in disgust.

"We don't even have gloves. I'm not touching that with my bare hands." I said which made Draco laugh.

We then heard the crackling sound again. Draco, not being the bravest of them all, hid behind me.

The tiniest animal came out of the bushes. I started laughing out loud at Draco for being scared of this.

"It's not funny. Could have been a demetor."

"Oh I thought I was the one scared of demetors?" I said sarcastically.  
"Wait. That's a niffler." The little creature was looking at us  
"It loves everything that shines."

It then started running towards Malfoy. The animal jumped on him to catch something and then ran away, all of that with Draco screaming like a little girl:   
"Get it off!! Get it off of me!!" Tears of laughter were blurring my vision.  
"Stop laughing! That little shit hamster just stole my ring."

"Windgardium Leviosa!" I said as I took out my wand.

On my words, the little creature, or shit hamster as Draco called him, started levitating. I made him come closer to us and gently shook it. The ring and other jewelry fell from a pocket in his belly.

I then let the niffler go. He ran away from us, deeper in the forest. I kneeled, took Draco's ring and gave it to him.

"Thank you." He said while putting it back in his finger.

"Do you regret it?" I asked

"Regret what?"

"The kiss."

"You're kidding, right?" He said looking at me. I didn't say anything. "Of course not idiot. I've been waiting for this for so long. Just the thought of you possibly liking me back blows my mind."

A smile appeared on my face.

"After this, do you wanna come in Gryffindor's common room?" I proposed

"Others won't like it."

"I don't care."

A little after I finally convinced Draco to come with me after our detention, rain started pouring. We tried to hid our heads with our robes but we were still soaking wet. Even under the trees, the rain was very intense.  
Then came McGonagall demanding us to go inside and that detention was over even if we haven't pick one piece of trash. We ran into the school, thank McGonagall and headed to the dormitory.

On our way, Draco touched my hand with his finger and then grabbed it. I looked at him with a nervous smile.

"Hey guys!" I said while entering the common room.

Draco let my hand go, not wanting to be too romantic around others.

Ron and Hermione were playing chess on the couches. Draco and I sat with them.

"Why are you guys are soaking wet?"

"As you can see by the window, Ron, it's raining outside." Said Hermione pointing out the obvious.

We all laughed except for Ron who was feeling a little stupid.

Hermione was sitting in the arm chair and Ron, me and Draco were on the couch, in that particular order, facing the fireplace.

Draco leaned closer to me which made me panic. I didn't know if he was gonna kiss me or just rest his head on my shoulder but instead of that, he whispered in my ear, laughing:

"Weasley is losing." His warm breath in my neck made me feel all tingly. I looked at him confused.  
"Look at the board." He said but this time, out loud.

I looked at the game and he was right, Hermione's queen was right in front of Ron's king and it was her turn.  
I thought he was good in chess. Maybe he just misses a little of practice.

"Rook to H3." After the tower stopped moving, Draco and I looked at each other, laughing.  
"What?" She said, upset.

"Your friends are stupid, Potter." Joked Draco.

"Hey!" Spat Hermione and Ron at the same time.

Draco and I started laughing.

"Oh I see it!" Exclaimed Ron  
"Bishop to D2."

"I'm so stupid! My queen was right in front of it!" Whinnied Hermione 

"I wasn't the one saying it this time." Said Draco.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry this is short and kinda shitty but watch out for next chapter hehe


	7. Lost Memories

It was starting to get pretty late. Ron and Hermione were already in bed, leaving Draco and I alone.

"I think I should go."

"No. Please stay." I begged.

"But Harry, it's getting late."

"Stay tonight." I asked again and he smiled to me.

"I don't know, Harry..."

"Please. I feel safe with you." He looked at me with pity in his eyes.

After a short pause of reflexion, he lay down on his back, bringing me with him with his arms around my body. I had my face resting on his chest.  
He took his right hand and gently remove my glasses. Still laying down, he stretched a little bit to put them on the table behind the couch. He then took the same hand and started playing with my hair while his other hand was now placed around my neck. He tried to place himself more comfortable and we ended up a little sideways which made our legs cross. I placed my arms around his neck to bring us closer.

The feelings I was feeling were indescribable. 

I felt millions of butterflies trying to fly out of my stomach. My heart wasn't pounding fast but hard. A strong and significant heartbeat. The only thing I could think about was: please, never make it stop.

I've never felt so comfortable in my life, so calm.

His odour made it even better. He had a particular smell. It smelled good. It wasn't a laundry odour, he had his own sent. It smelled like home, like happiness. He smelled like good lost memories. 

His fingers going through my hair were giving me goosebumps all over my body. I wanted to stay like this forever. It was like if the rest of the world disappeared. There was only him and I. 

He was twisting my hair around his finger.

"Your hair is so soft and messy. Sometimes, I wanted to take a brush and place them." He said with his hoarse voice from tiredness.

I slowly started to close my eyes but I didn't want to sleep.

"Draco?" I asked

"Yes?" He said looking down at me

"When did this started?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, your feelings for...for me."

"A while ago, Harry. In first year, I truly hated you. My father had told me so many bad things about you. I hated you. In second year, I still hated you, but less. I realized you weren't as bad as he kept describing you. Then came third year. You had changed so much during the summer. You were taller, you had lost your baby face and chubby cheeks to reveal a sexy jawline. The first time I saw you that year, I was all confused. I started to try to get to know you more, if you were as bad as so many people around me kept saying. They were wrong, they were so wrong. You're such an angel, trying to protect yourself. When Voldemort asked me to kill dumbledore I was devastated. Not only because I had to kill someone but I knew that if I did, never, not in a million years, you would talk to me again. And when and the final fight, last year, Voldemort asked me to join him, I didn't want to. I wanted to stay, fight by your side. You were there, dead in Hagrid's arms. My heart was broken in a million pieces. I wanted to scream. I wanted to kill him but I knew I wasn't strong enough. I wasn't strong at all. I wasn't supposed to come back to school this year. My mom wanted me to stay home, safe with her. I wanted to stay with her but my desire to see you again was too strong." Once he'd finish,I hugged him tighter.

He said he wasn't strong but it's a lie. He was stronger than me.

"But why being so...so mean to me?"

"I don't know. I think I just didn't want you to know about my feelings. Or I wanted you to hate me so I didn't have to admit to myself that I was gay for you." We then both stayed silent, me trying to sleep and him still playing in my hair.

I had the sweetest dream ever. It was peaceful, just calm.

When I woke up, I was alone. My neck was hurting from sleeping on the couch. Not gonna lie, I was kind of sad that Draco wasn't next to me as I woke up but not surprised.

I sat in the couch and took my glasses. Next to them was a paper bird. I unfolded it and it was a drawing again. This time it was me peacefully sleeping.

"Good morning sleeping beauty." Said Hermione as she came in the room. "What are you doing on the couch?"

"Draco stayed for the night." She looked at me with big eyes of excitement.

"Tell me everything." She said as she sat next to me.

"We basically cuddled."

"That's it?"

"Yes that's it why-" wait..?  
"Oh no! Hermione are you mental? You really thought we would do it here? With anyone who could come in at any second?" She laughed.

"I'm just joking with you."

Our first class today was potion. 

"For today's class we're gonna concoct a pepperup potion." Said Professor Slughorn.   
"As you all might have noticed, it's getting pretty cold outside. I think it could be very useful. But there's a twist!" He said with excitement but we all sighed.   
"This time, it's teamwork time. I'll randomly pick names from this hat." He added removing his own hat off his head.  
"First name: Crabbe with..." he put his hand in the hat and took out a piece of paper. "Lavender. Now..." he put his hand back in.   
"Granger with...Lovegood. Parkinson with...Weasley. Malfoy with..."

I was waiting with impatience. Please be me. Or not.  
Wait no. It can't be me. If I'm with him, I'll panic. 

"...Potter." Bloody hell!

Hermione, who was sitting next to me, took her books with her and went sitting to Luna.

I looked over at Draco and he was also taking his book to come and join me. He sat next to me and my heart was racing.

"Looks like we're stuck together, Potter."


	8. The Closet

The teacher started explaining what ingredients will be needed and in what order we will have to put them in our tiny cauldron.

I was trying to have a straight face on but on the inside I was panicking.

I then felt a hand squeeze my thigh which made me flinch.

"You're all right, Potter?" Asked the professor and I noded yes.

I then felt Draco's hand squeeze tighter. I had my eyes wide open trying to understand what in the bloody hell was happening. I looked over him. He was listening to the teacher, not looking at me but he had a smirk on in face.

"Ok so if you weren't listening, just go to page 248. It's all there. Good luck." Finished the teacher before sitting in his chair, putting his hat back on his head but in a way to cover his eyes.  
He was...sleeping.

Draco and I got up from our chairs, opened our books and started to see what ingredients we'll need.  
Mr. Slughorn had told us to simply go in the closet ourselves to get the ingredients needed. I took my book with me to know what I'll need and went in the closet's direction but Draco stood up too and followed me.

"It's okay I'll go." I said.

"I'll help you." He replied.

"But I don't need help." I said once in the big pantry. He was then slowly closing the door behind us.  
"What are you doing?" He went in front of me knowing he was intimidating me with still the same smirk on his face. He knew what he was doing. He knew he was affecting me.

"Scared, Potter?" He said.

I was walking backwards and he kept walking to me but this closet was small so I hit the wall.

"Draco, what are you doing? Someone could come in and see us." He then agitated his wand and locked the door before putting his lips on mine.

I kissed him back but pushed him away after a few seconds, feeling scared someone would notice how long we're taking.

We went back to our table with our ingredients. 

What was that? Yesterday night he was so sweet and now this?

"So first we have to cut this... thing."

"That's a Mandrake root, Harry. And no. First we have to crush the Bicorn horn." He said as pushed the mortar my way.

"How?"

"Harry, are you serious right now? Just crush it."

"Yeah I know but this thing is hard. It's not like crushing seeds." He then came closer to me, took my hand and started to crush the horn with me.

The touch of his hand felt so good on mine and I could smell his odour.  
He put his other hand on my waist and the rest of the world just disappeared.

There was only him and I. I looked up at him and our face were really close.

Then Ron fake coughed bringing back Draco and I to reality.

He probably noticed we weren't realizing there were people around us, even though we were in a classroom.

"You know, I've been thinking, what if we go camping on Christmas break." I looked at him confused.

"You do realize it's cold outside, right?"

"I'm not an idiot, Harry." He said angry which made me laugh.

"It's not a good idea. We'll freeze to death."

"Just one night. Just us two." I sighed.

"Okay but if we die, I warned you." I said joking and he laughed.

Draco laughing was the most precious thing anyone could ever witness. The whole room would brighten up. It was like if the only thing that mattered was him. His eyes would sprinkle and his smile could make anyone the happiest person on Earth.

"I didn't know you liked to draw." I said off topic.

"It calms me. I draw the things I find beautiful." On his words, my heart melted.

Where was that Draco all those years? The nice and sweet Draco. The artistic Draco. The romantic Draco.

After this long day, our last class was defence against the dark art. For some reason Snape was even more irritating than usual. Always being rude and abuse his power of authority. Why is he even a teacher still? I saw him. He killed Dumbledore. All he deserves is to go to Azkaban like every other murderer.

We didn't do much in class, just the usual but what caught my attention was that Snape kept Draco in the classroom because he wanted to talk to him about something.

What if Slughorn noticed what happened in the closet and told Snape. If that's the case, we're screwed.

I was walking with Hermione and Ron in the hallway on our way to dinner.

"Harry, you got a little distracted today. Am I right?" Asked Ron trying to get on my nerves.

"I have no clue what you're talking about."

"C'mon mate, if I wasn't there, you would have both kiss in front of everyone." On his words, Hermione turned looking at me in shock.

"Harry! You can't be like this with Draco around other teachers. What if Lucius would know?" She replied.

"What about it?"

"Lucius Malfoy, Harry. The one who's obsessed with his blood legacy. Draco being gay equals no more Malfoys."

I look down thinking about what she just said. She's right. She's so right. This can't work. If we can't be open like, ever, this is never going to work out.  
Maybe that's what Snape is talking about to Draco at the moment.

"What are you planning for Christmas holidays?" I asked to change my mind from my sad thoughts.

"Well aren't we supposed to celebrate Christmas the three of us like usual?" Replied Hermione.

"I was planning on camping." I said as Ron laughed.

There was a short pause of silence.

"Oh you're serious?" He said with confusion in his voice.  
"Harry it's gonna be freezing outside. Are you mad?"

"Yes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short sorry:(


	9. A Certain Way

The days were flying by so fast. We were already in December. It was snowing outside but not particularly freezing. This was our last week before Christmas break.

Draco started to be distant with me. We would never talk in class hours, he wouldn't even look at me, like before. But after class he would sometimes come into the Gryffindor common room to chitchat with Hermione, Ron, sometimes Neville and I.

We made Neville believe that him and I wanted to be friends for our last year which is not a complete lie.

But he never had spent another night with me, he never stayed after the curfew. Every night, I would imagine him next to me or hug my pillow. I know it sounds stupid and so pathetic but I couldn't help it. Otherwise I would feel almost like empty.

Sometimes, when he wouldn't come to talk after class, I would go to bed and see one of his paper birds on my bed. I has no idea how he would get in since I never gave him the password to get in the Gryffindor rooms. Maybe someone gave it to him or he simply heard me say it.   
I had accumulated 10 paper birds. 6 of them were drawings of me, 3 were drawings of him and I and one of them was a poem. I read it every night before going to bed.

" In my Heart I feel a certain Pain.  
With this Pain, I chose to Love.  
But the Love I gave wasn't enough.

In my Head, I feel a certain Confusion.  
With this Confusion, I decided to understand.  
But What I understood was that I wasn't enough.

In my Stomach I feel Fear.  
With that fear, I made myself Brave.  
With my Bravery, I finally went to you, knowing I wasn't enough.

On my hand, I feel another's.  
It's yours.

You make me feel a certain Way.  
This feeling is painful, confusing and scary but with that feeling, I live everyday hoping I'll be enough for You."

His hand writing was so pretty and gracious. I really liked his poem but it was paining me at the same time because some of the ink was gone because of tears, meaning Draco cried while he was writing this.  
The image of him crying was breaking me.

Last time I saw him crying was in sixth year when he was in the bathroom.  
I remember even back then, feeling horrible about it.

I bought a small album where I put all drawings but the poem would stay on my nightstand.

I was on my bed thinking. I didn't know what happened. Was I the one who did something? Maybe someone in slytherin noticed that night that he wasn't in his bed in the morning.  
Crabbe and Goyle were being real idiots, morons, jerks, you name it.

Every time I would pass by them, they felt the need to shout insults but the worst is that Draco would let them do it.  
I get it, he didn't want to expose himself but it hurt, especially when he laughed with them. I haven't talk about it with him but maybe I should. It's the type of things that you accumulate and one day it all explodes and you end up saying things you didn't mean to say.

It was about 11 pm and I couldn't sleep.  
Tonight Draco didn't even stayed to talk. We walked together after class but once at the stairs he simply said "good bye" and left to his room.

I wouldn't say I was angry at him but the lack of explanation was frustrating me. I wanted to know what was going on but I wasn't brave enough to ask.

Usually, when he would come to talk, we would talk about old memories, what funny things happened in our day but the subject of him and I would never come up like if nothing ever happened. And when he would be leaving, he would normally just say that it's getting late and that he better keep going if he doesn't want to be catch by Mr. Flich.

I didn't believe that was the reason why he would leave so early.   
I didn't understand what happened. One day he told me he loved me, after he kissed me, then he spent the night, kissed again and that's it.

That's it.

He also have been getting in a lot of troubles lately. I mean, he always did but this time, it was mostly fights. Draco can be a real dick sometimes but he's not brave enough to actually get into fights. Or at least that's what I thought.

Sometimes would be wondering if I was just a phase to him. Maybe he regretted everything. It would make sense. Everything was so fast and really unexpected.

I felt myself getting tired so I closed my night lamp, put my glasses next to it and slid myself in my blankets.  
I fell asleep pretty fast.

It was sunny outside and I just finished my Quidditch practice which went extremely well. Ron got even better.

From being exhausted, I lay down in the grass, looking to the blue sky.  
I then heard someone coming my way.

"Hey beautiful." I looked to the right and saw Draco coming my way.

He lay down next to me, putting his hands behind his head.

"Your elbows are in my face." I said and he looked at me.

"And why would I care?" He said with his arrogant face before turning around and climbing over me.

"D-Draco what are you doing." I tried to say

I felt myself getting extremely red as he looked deep into my eyes. He raised an eyebrow with a smirk on his face.

"Nervous, Potter?"

"N- no I-" but I was cut off with him kissing me.

His lips were crashing on mine. His lips were so soft, when mine were all chapped.

We were making out in front of everyone but I couldn't care less.

I was waken up by the light of the sun in my face.

Wh- what was this?  
Why were my sheets wet?  
I took a look under the blankets to see that I came on myself 

Fuck.  
Shit fuck.  
Bloddy hell. Thank god I woke up before anyone else.

A/N:  
Again sorry kinda shitty :/


	10. Scars

"Are you ready? I've been waiting for fifteen minutes standing here." Impatiently said Draco with his enormous bag on his shoulder.

"It's not my fault if you're half an hour earlier. I haven't pack my things yet." He signed. "By the way, you don't need this much clothes. Your bag is way too big we'll be gone for only one night."

"It's not clothes, you idiot. They're blankets so we don't freeze to death."

"I told you it was a bad idea to go camping on Christmas eve."

"But you still agreed." He said with a smile of satisfaction.

I was sitting on the floor, putting my big sweater and joggings in my suitcase before closing it.

"I'm ready. We need the tent."

"Already have it." He said tapping on his bag.

"Where did you even get it?"

"I have contacts."

"Didn't know tent dealers were a thing." I said which made him laugh.

I took my suitcase and followed him in the hallways until we arrived to Hagrid's house.

I told Hagrid about Draco and I because I knew he was gonna listen to me and I needed to talk about it to someone else than Hermione and Ron. I told him about our small camping trip which he strongly thought was a bad idea because of the weather but he still agreed to lend the motorcycle that used to belong to Sirius.

Draco was the one driving and I was the holding one the bags in the passenger seat.

"Put your helmets kids and be safe."

"We will Hagrid!" I said all excited.

It took us about an hour to find a great spot where we could plant our tent.

It was by a river so there wasn't a lot of threes. We started to put the tent up and thank god it wasn't so cold. Maybe we won't freeze to death.

The tent Draco got us was a muggle tent meaning it wasn't gigantic in the inside. There was only place for two person to sleep in.

"Bloody hell." Said Draco as his forth attempt to start a fire in front of the tent failed.

"Draco." He looked at me waiting for me to continue.  
"Your wand." I said pointing his pocket.

He sighed after realizing how idiot he must have looked.

"Incendio." And the fire immediately started.

We sat in front of it, at first in silence, watching the snow around it melting but then I broke the silence.

"What happened, Draco?" I asked and he looked at me. 

"What do you mean?"

"You stopped being with me."

"What are you talking about? I came almost every night talking with you."

"I mean...we kissed only twice. Both times in the same week. You stopped looking at me. You never stayed another night."

"Because they noticed, Harry. Crabbe and Goyle, they asked me where I was that night. Apparently they waited for me to come back. Those idiots can't even go to bed by themselves. I didn't want them to know."

"And why make fun of me and my friends?" I asked trying to control myself from crying which he noticed.

He looked at me with sadness into his eyes. He felt bad. He placed his arm around my shoulder and guided me to rest my head on his laps which I did.  
I was down on my back with my winter coat, using his lap as a pillow with my legs bend, knees facing up and my foots on the snow.

He took his left hand and started playing in my hair while he used the right one to support his body as he leaned back a little bit. I could feel the snow melting on my back from my warm body but I didn't care if my coat would get wet.

"People are talking, Harry." He finally answered.  
"There are rumours running around about you and I. I kept laughing at my friend's joke so they don't suspect a thing. Trust me, I wanted to punch them right in the face."

"Is that why you're getting into fights?" I asked looking up at him but he was looking at the fire so I looked up to the stars.

We could barely see them because of the trees but some of them, the brightest ones, were peaking through.

"We could say so. Every time I would hear someone talk about us, I would confront them, asking...well treating them to not talk about us like that."

"But why. Even if people end up finding out, would it really be that bad?"

"I guess not but I didn't want you to get scared. Scared of what others could think. I didn't want you to run off."

"I'm not going anywhere. Not matter what happens, I'm staying."

I couple of minutes later, I got a little tired so we went in the tent.  
I don't know if it was the fire or the thousands blankets but it wasn't so cold after all.

I took my sweater and joggings off my suitcase but realized that maybe it'll be a little too hot to wear that to sleep. I instead took a grey t-shirt. I started getting my heavy winter coat off and so did Draco. We were both sitting since the tent wasn't very tall.

I started lifting my long sleeve shirt when I felt Draco starring at me which made me very nervous.

I looked at him and decided to take his shirt off. I slowly started lifting it to reveal several long scars on his chest.

"Draco. What is this?"

"You don't remember? In the bathroom, sixth year."

And now the scene was playing back in my head. I didn't realize this was going to be permanent. I feel pain invading my heart.

"Draco. I-I'm sorry." I say as tears start filling up my eyes.

I looked down but he gently pushed my chin up with his finger.

"I love them, Harry."

"How can you?" He was looking right into my teary eyes.

"Because you, Harry. It's like a connection to you."

My vision was starting to get blurry because of my tears until they finally started running down my cheeks.  
I rested my head on his shoulder a bit as he looked down at me until I looked up as well. I was looking at his lips. They were beautiful. Perfect pink lips.  
He grabbed me by the waist making me sit on his laps. I placed my arms around his neck as his stayed on my hips pushing our bodies closer. I then leaned and dropped a kiss on his lips.   
Our skin were touching and it was sending butterflies right in my stomach. He was so warm.

He started pushing our bodies even closer as we were making out. His tongue then entered my mouth.


	11. An Angel

I was still sitting on his lap, holding tight to his neck. He once again pushed our bodies impossibly closer to one another and I let out a grunt from excitement. I could feel myself getting hard, my member being pressed on Draco's lower belly.  
He broke the kiss only to start sucking on my neck. It felt so good I couldn't help it but moan.

He pushed our bodies closer one last time, pressing my hardness against him. He then slightly lift me up to place me on the wannabe bed we made with tones of blankets. I kept my arms around his neck making him fall with me. He was on top of me and started kissing my again.  
I placed my hands behind his back to feel more of his skin.  
The kiss was so passionate. We were both out of breath.

I've never felt better. Him on top of me made it even more perfect.

He then took his right hand and slid it down my belly and started unzipping my pants.

"What are you doing?!" I asked in panic.

He looked at me almost scared.

"I'm- I'm sorry I thought this was happening."

As much as I really wanted this, wanted him, I wasn't ready. I was still seeing myself as heterosexual and as good as it felt to kiss him a big part of me felt like this was wrong, so wrong.

I lift myself up, resting on my elbows and he sat in front of me.

"I'm not ready."

"It's fine. I'm sorry I shouldn't have." He said with guilt in his eyes.

We were both still a little out of breath.

"Can you big spoon me?" I asked shyly, scared he would say no but a smile appeared on his face.

I lay on my right side and so did Draco, placing himself behind me, hugging me from the back.   
My boner slowly started to go away as I was falling asleep.

The next morning when I woke up, Draco was sleeping on his back with one hand behind his head. Instead of getting up, I went closer to him and rested my head on his chest as a pillow. I could feel his breathing in my hair.  
I took my finger and started tracing the scars that I gave him, still feeling awfully bad about it.

"Good morning, beautiful." He said as he looked down to me.

"Why do you always call me that?"

"Because you're beautiful, Harry."

He then took his right hand and started playing in my hair.

"No I'm not." I say still tracing his scars.

"Harry, look at me." I then did what he asked.  
"Your eyes are the pretties shade of blue. Your lips have the perfect shape and feel so soft. Your skin feels like clouds and appart from the scar, has no flaw. I could go one for days."

"I'm gonna call you princess."

"Princess?! I'm not a princess."

"You act like one." I said laughing.

He looked at me and I stretched myself to kiss him and I felt his face relaxing as the kiss got more intense.  
He took his left hand to my hips and pulled our body closer.  
I then flipped one of my legs on the other side of his body, making me sit on his morning boner.

"Harry." He moaned.  
"It's too early for this."

Hearing him moaning made me feel so weird but in a good way. It was turning me on so bad. I did this to him. I made him feel that way and there was something about it that made me feel powerful.

I respected his desire and got off of him.

"Merry Christmas, Malfoy." I said looking into his eyes one last time before sitting, taking my big shirt and putting it on.

"Merry Christmas, Potter." He answered looking at me getting dressed.

"You should get dressed too before you get too cold." He rolled his eyes as he sat up, still looking at me.

"I never get cold. I'm too hot." He said with confidence and I laughed.

I went outside the tent to see the bright sun. The fire obviously was no longer burning.

I was waiting for Draco by the flying motorcycle when I got lost in my thoughts. What were we? I knew he wasn't ready to show everyone that he was not only gay but dating Harry Potter. I wasn't ready to expose us either. I didn't know if I would ever be ready and that was scaring me. How can you think of being in an healthy relationship when you can't even kiss your boyfriend when there's people around. I wanted to be with him so bad. But it was also really soon.

The scariest part for me was that I was scared that he starts ignoring me again. This was our first time being romantic with each other since the first week of school. It was just crazy to me how we got so close so fast.

It was like if all his dark past was erased from my brain and replaced by all the times he was somewhat nice to me which is stupid. Draco was such an awful person but now he's being so sweet to me.

He's an angel who was raised by demons.

Another thing is that we'll never be like other couples. I'll never go and have dinner at his house to see his parents and so won't he on my side.  
If his father would learn about this he would destroy me but worst, he would destroy Draco.

Draco finally ended packing the tent and all the blankets.

I was going to hop in the motorcycle passager place but he flipped me by grabbing my waist so that I would face him.  
Even after 3 months of being closer to him, I was very intimidated by his height.  
I was looking up in his eyes and he simply dropped a gentle kiss on my lips.

"Draco?" I asked making him stay close to me.  
"What are we?" And at my surprise, a smile appeared on his face.

"Harry?"

"Yes?" I said looking down because I was scared of what he was gonna ask me.

"Would you be my boyfriend?" On his words, I looked up at him with the biggest smile on my mouth and a little bit of blush on my cheeks.

"Yes." I finally answered before putting my hands around his neck and kissing him.

Our road back to Hogwarts was pretty relax. When we arrived I was expecting him to go in the Slytherin common room but he followed me.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm spending Christmas night with you." He said smiling.

I smiled back at him, feeling very overwhelmed to spend more time with him.

When we arrived, Hermione and Ron were on the couch, already developing their gifts.  
Hermione seemed pretty sad since, for the first time, she didn't get anything from her parents.  
Ron, as always, got an ugly sweater from his mom. Which he was holding up, almost in disgust.

"Merry Christmas!" I said as Draco and I entered the room.

"Happy Christmas!" They both exclaimed as they saw us.

We sat on the couch with them. 

Hermione showed us the book Ron got her, which she apparently wanted for months now. She thanked me for the bracelet I got her. It was just a simple white pearl bracelet with an H written on it.

I noticed there were three gifts by the tree instead of only two. I looked at Draco and asked: "You got me something?"

"Of course I got you something." He then came closer to my ear and whispered for others not to hear. "What kind of boyfriend would I be to not get you a gift." on his words i smiled letting Hermione and Ron confused.

I opened my gifts one by one.  
The first one was Ron's he got me all sorts of snacks and candies.

Hermione got me a cute hat for my new bird which I surprisingly couldn't wait for her to try on.  
I then opened the last gift. It was just a tiny box. I untied the bow and lifted the top.

Inside was a necklace with a locket which I opened.

My heart dropped.   
Inside of the locket was a picture of Sirius. He was hugging my father.

"Where'd you get this?" I asked with my voice cracking.

"I have contacts. It's just-" I grabbed Draco in a thigh hug as I felt tears falling down my cheeks.   
"I know it's my aunt who... so I guess this is an apology."


	12. I Lied

It was now time to go to bed. Ron felt asleep on the couch meaning there was only Draco and I in the boys' room since Neville left to his friend's house for the holidays.

"Let's talk." Said Draco as he sat on the bed, and me by the side of the window.

"All right, what do you want to talk about?" I asked.

"I don't know. You start."

I take a short pause to think and say. "We should find my owl a name. It's been almost four months since I got her."

"How about Draco?" He said too proud of his name.

"No, that'd be weird. What about night. Because of her eyes."

"That's really simple. Maybe midnight?"

"How is that different?"

"Night and Mid. Night. Midnight."

"Fine. Midnight it'll be."

He looked around in the room as we talked until he noticed the book on the top of my nightstand. He opened it and saw all of his drawings.

"You kept them?"

"Of course. What were you expecting?"

"I thought you were throwing them in the trash."

"No! I would never." I said defending myself.

"Which is your favourite?" He asked with curiosity in his eyes.

"The poem." I said without hesitation.

"You kept that too?" He said in shock.

"Yeah look under the pillow." Which he did.

He lifted the pillow and there was this tiny piece of paper folded in four. He unfolded it and read it in his head.

"That's sort of cringe."

"Not at all. I love it." I said in his defence this time. "You cried writing it. Didn't you?"

"Diggory." 

Did he said what I heard?

"What?"

"I thought about you and Cedric when I wrote it."

I was speechless. This took an unexpected turn. I wasn't expecting him bringing this up.

"I don't want to talk about him."

"Why not?" He said putting the paper on the book which was on my nightstand.

"Because whatever you're going to say, I'm going to be mad at you. And I don't want to be mad at you."

"There was something going on between you two, wasn't it?"

"I said I don't want to talk about it, Draco."

"Tell me about him."

"Draco, that's not the type of things you talk about with your boyfriend."

"Harry, that's exactly what you talk about with your boyfriend." I sighed.

"Fine. Yes there was something. But nothing happened between us."

"I hate it when you lie to me."

"We kissed. That's it. We only kissed once." I said putting the emphasis on the once.

"Tell me about it."

"Draco, no-" I tried to finish my sentence but he cut me.

"Tell me when, where, why. I want to know."

"It was just a silly kiss. It was after we fought the dragon. It was at the time I was confused and it could have been anyone else. It wasn't special. Just a kiss in the bathroom."

I lied. I lied to him but it was for the best. It meant something. Maybe not to him but to me that's for sure. Just hearing his name made me want to cry.

I see the scene in my head all over again.   
When I saw Cedric for the first time, my heart exploded. I remember feeling so attracted to him. He was being so nice to me when the entire school, including Ron, were calling me names. Plus he was tall and so handsome. His smile could make anyone crack and he had gorgeous eyes. And let's not talk about his perfect posture. He was my first boy crush which is why he meant so much to me. He made me all confused. Every time he was close to me or slightly touching me, my heart would start beating so fast.

I remember every detail of that day.   
I was in the bathroom, waiting for my bath to fill up, when he came in to pee, I guess, but he never did.  
I was shirtless when he came in and instead of politely leaving, he looked at me with desire. I immediately saw it in his eyes. It made me feel all kinds of way. Especially weirded out because I had no idea he was also into boys.

"I didn't know you were this fit, Harry." He said getting closer to me.

"I- I guess it's- it's the- the quidditch." I said trying to make a sentence, feeling extremely anxious.

"Mmh mmh." He hummed in agreement but he wasn't listening to me at all.

He continued walking in my direction. He took his hand and started feeling my abs with it.

I was all confused I had no idea what in the world was going on.

He then finally looked up to me, dropped a kiss on my lips and said: "see you tomorrow." With a wink.

His lips were so soft and perfect. Even though I am truly in love with Draco, I miss him. I miss him every single day that passes and I will never forget him. Never.  
When I saw him, dead, my heart broke in a thousands of pieces. I was screaming but I wish I could have scream louder.  
I wish I could go back and tell him to run. Tell him to run far away. To not touch the goblet. None of this would have happened. He would still be here. He wouldn't be with me but at least I could see him and talk to him. Still look into his beautiful eyes. 

I stayed there, in the bathroom, silent, about 5 minutes, processing what in the bloody heck had just happened.

"Like us? In a bathroom like us. Was I just a silly kiss?" Said Draco bringing me back to this world.

"No. With him it wasn't like it is with you." 

"With him it was better? With him it meant something?" I looked at him with confusion as he got more mad. "With him it wasn't as toxic as our love?"

"Draco, stop. I love you and I don't want to talk about Cedric."

"Because you like him?"

"Liked! I liked him, Draco! He's passed now and it pains me everyday."

"Because you still think about him?!"

"No, Draco just shut up about it!" I said yelling at him.

I instantly regretted as he started walking towards me. He grabbed my tie making me stand up and smashed our bodies together. He was looking furious down at me.

"Don't you dare raise your voice at me, Potter." He said with anger in his voice but not screaming at me.

Bloody hell, he's so hot when he's mad.

I put my arms around his neck and kissed him. Our lips smashed together making him groan. I jumped in his arms as he put his arms behind my thighs in a way to lift me up. I put my legs around his chest, all of that while we were still making out. He went to the bed which he threw me on. He climbed on the bed making me go backwards until I hit the head of the bed.


	13. A Noticeable Mark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come get y’all juice 🍑

He started to get rid of my clothes like my tie and he was unbuttoning my shirt, all of that while we were sensually making out.  
Because of the way my legs were around his waist, my parts were accidentally rubing against Draco's and it was fucking me up.

"Wait. I need to get this off." I said as I took off the necklace he gave me earlier.

I was so ready for this.

I managed to flipped him over so now I was the one on top of him. I started getting rid of his pants as he took the rest of his shirt off.

He took my chin and made me look at him.

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" He asked me and I nodded yes. 

He was looking at me taking his underwears off exposing his area. I looked at it feeling, impressed.  
I don't know why but I wasn't expecting it to be so big.

I took my fingers and slowly put them in Draco's mouth to yet them.  
I kneeled down in a way that I was almost sitting on the floor while he was sitting at the tip of the bed.  
I then started to slowly go up and down on his member with my hand, making him moan.

Fuck. His moan was the hottest thing on Earth. It made me feel some type of way, so powerful.  
I started to go faster until I finally put him in my mouth, making movements with my tongue.  
He grabbed my hair making me suck faster on him.  
His moans were getting louder and louder making me suck harder and faster. 

"Harry." He said moaning my name. Hearing him saying my name like that made my stomach swirl and my member rise.  
"I'm- I'm coming." He said still moaning. "Fuck. You're so good, baby."

He let his head go back with a groan coming out if his lips from the orgasm I just had give him as a hot liquid entered my mouth and I swallowed it.

I stood up and licked his exposed neck and he took my waist to flip me over. He was now the one on top. He almost ripped my pants off as he took them off.  
He let my underwear and started getting rid of my shirt.

He started to suck on my neck, leaving a noticeable mark.  
His lips on my neck gave me shivers all over my body. As our chest touched, I could feel the texture of his scars on my skin.  
He started giving kisses all over me but lower ever time.  
First my neck, then my collarbone, my upper pectorals, lower pectorals, then it was my belly which was tingly but also felt very good.  
Then dropped a kiss on my lower waist and finish on the inside of my thighs and I couldn't control myself and I let out a moan.

"Draco?" I said still moaning putting my head back from pleasure.

"Yes, baby boy?" He answered pulling my underpants off.

"I love you." I said out of breath, this time looking at him.

"I love you more, beautiful." He said as he slightly lifted me up so he could get inside of me.

This was a weird feeling at first. He was going slow making sure I was comfortable. As time goes he rapidly started going faster. The faster he went, the better it felt.

We were both out of breath and moaning every five seconds.

Draco was going faster and faster in me making the pleasure more and more intense at a point where I arched my back and grabbed the sheets to control myself from screaming.

I grabbed myself and started up and down movements.  
I was looking at Draco who had his eyes closed and his head back from excitement.  
Seeing him like this, naked, weak, pleasured, vulnerable made me want more and more.

He suddenly got out of me but only to flip me around again and back into me in no time. His front was clapping on my ass.  
He went faster that the first time and so did I with my hand, still grabbing my member.

"Fuck! I'm I think I'm going to come." I said and Draco quickly got out of me, turned me around and started sucking me.

Everything happened so fast but as soon as his lips touched me, I moaned, the loudest one yet.

"Draco!"

I could feel him smiling on me.  
I didn't want to come yet. I wanted him to continue. His lips on my could make me kill and his tongue swirling around my tip was making me go crazy. I wanted more and more. I wanted this to never stop.  
His saliva was everywhere on me and I wanted more.

He took a pause to ask: "You like that baby?" But as soon as he was done speaking, he went back to sucking me and on his words, shivers went all over my body, I had tingles in my head.

I grabbed his hair with my hand and did the exact same thing he did to me which was to help him go faster and deeper.

The room was filled with my moans and sometimes Draco's.

"Babe I'm coming." I said warning him and letting out a groan.

Instead of pulling away and stop, he continued to stop me making me go crazy.

"Moan for me baby." He said.

It was such a turn on when he was bossing me around. I did what he said and stopped trying to control myself not to moan too loud.

I grabbed the sheets with one hand really trying not to come to make this last as long as I could while the other hand was still in his icy platinum hair.

I couldn't wait anymore.

I moaned his name: "Draco. I'm comi-"

The rest of my sentence came out more as a groan than actual words. I couldn't finish my sentence when I felt myself dripping in his mouth.  
He joined me in the bed, kissed me and said.

"You taste good." Which made me go red.

Our legs were crossing under the blankets and I was hugging him as we both fell asleep naked.


	14. Toxic

When I woke up the next morning, Draco wasn't next to me.  
Rethinking about last night made me feel confused. One side of me wanted to do it again while the other side knew this was wrong.

Also our argument last night was pretty intense. He was so angry at Cedric and me.

I dressed up and went down stairs. Draco was on the couch, drinking tea, talking with Ron and Hermione.

Seeing them three made me feel so happy. I wasn't expecting them to really get along but there they were, laughing at Draco's jokes.

"Good morning everyone." I said sitting next to Draco.

"What is that, Harry?" Asked Hermione, pointing my hickey which I forgot I had. I turned red.  
"Oh. Did you..?"

"No-!" I tried to say but Draco cut me.

"Yeah. I got to say, Harry's pretty good to give Christmas gifts." Answered Draco with the biggest smirk of satisfaction on his face.

Hermione turned red as well from feeling awkward and regretting to ask. I was feeling so cringed. It's not the type of things you want your friends to know.

"What'd he gave you?" Asked Ron with his mouth full.

"He fucked me, Ron." Said Draco pointing out the obvious and judging Ron who felt stupid and choked on his donut.

I buried my face in my hands from embarrassment trying to escape the room.

"Who topped?" Said someone making all of us either, gasp, choke on another bite of donut, freeze or smirk from satisfaction again.

We all turned around to see Neville in front of the door who heard all of the conversation.

"I did." Proudly said Draco.

"Ok that's enough!" I said standing up. 

My cheeks, ears and forehead were burning from the anxious feeling this conversation was giving me.

"That's not what you said last night." Added Draco making me feel excitement in my stomach.

Everyone was awkwardly standing still appart from Draco who was too much at ease and had his legs spread.

Now everyone knew about my first time having sex. Great.

"Neville please don't talk about this to anyone." I politely asked.

"Don't worry, Harry. I already knew." I looked at him waiting for an explanation.  
"The drawings on your nightstand. And without me, your flower would be dead by now." After he finished, he took his suitcase and went up the the room.

Ron and Hermione followed him to help him. But I'm pretty sure they were just trying to escape this awkward conversation.

I turned around to sit on the couch but before I could, Draco grabbed me by the waist of my pants making me sit on his laps.

"You like it, don't you? Being bossed." On his words I felt a tingly feeling in my belly.

"Dr-Draco what are you doing?" I said lowering the volume of my voice so that no one would hear us.

"Say it. You like it when I control you." He said whispering in my ear before bitting my ear lobe.

"Stop. Someone could come in."

"Say it." He insisted as he pressed his hand on my parts, making me let out a moan. 

I quickly placed my hands on my mouth after I realized what I'd just done, hoping no one heard.

He didn't let go and even squeezed me harder.

"Say it."

"Yes." I finally said.  
"I like when you boss me." I was breathing heavily.

"I'm taking notes." He said before letting go of his squeeze.

"What was that?" I asked to myself out loud.

"I can't help it. I'm horny in the morning." He said dropping a kiss on my neck.

I got off of him sat next to him, lay down on my back and put my head on his thighs as a pillow. He took one of his hand and started playing in my hair.

"We need to talk about last night. Before...you know." I said.

"What do you have to say?"

"You said this relationship was toxic. Did you mean it?"

"The problem is not the relationship. It's me."

"Don't say that."

"But it's true."

A little bit after the conversation got a little more heated. Draco got mad over me saying he shouldn't be afraid to show who he is.   
We were now both standing up, both angry at each other.

"You don't understand!" He said.  
"You have it easy. Everyone around you likes you. You're the nice pretty boy. Not me. The only persons who really care about me are Snape and my mom!"

"I care about you!"

"Now, yes! But before you didn't! If my father ever learns about us..." he looked down, looking hurt.   
"I don't know what he's gonna do. I'm the only way to make the Malfoy blood live. And you! It had to be you! It had the be the boy who lived, the chosen one, the one who killed his Lord and took away all his credibility. He hates you, Harry. More than anything. And he hates me too. If he ever learns...he's gonna hurt me or worse, he's gonna hurt you." I got closer to him to wipe the tear that was falling down his cheek but he took my arm and pulled it away.  
"I'm not good for you, Harry." He said as he turned around, ready to leave but I ran to him and hugged him tightly from the back.

"Don't ever leave me. Promise me."

"Harry...I-" He tried to break the hug but I held him tighter.

"Promise!" I begged yelling.

He finally turned around and hugged me back

"I promise."

I stayed in his arms for a long time. I was so scared that if I let go, he was gonna leave and I wanted him to stay here with me forever.


	15. Alright, Beautiful

The Christmas break was almost over. Draco and I had spent almost all our time together.

I've never been in the slytherin common room and I was so curious. I wanted to see Draco's room and sleep in his bed. I wanted to sleep on his pillow that probably smelled like his hair.

I was in my room with him, sitting between his legs which were spread to give me space and my back was resting on his chest.  
He had his arms in front of me passing under mine and he was drawing. Since I was a head shorter than him, he had his chin resting on my head so he could see what he was drawing.

I was admiring his hands graciously drawing my face traits.

"When did you start drawing me?" I asked

"Third year. I was in love with your face bone structure. Your jawline got so sharp I had to draw it."

"And when did you start drawing in the first place?"

"I don't remember. I was pretty young. Maybe nine."

"And who else do you draw?"

"Why all those questions?"

"Because I want to know more about." I said putting my hand on his that wasn't holding the pen.

He gave me a gentle kiss on my neck before saying: "Alright, beautiful. Ask me anything."

"Why do you draw me?"

"I draw what I think is beautiful. I used to draw my mom a lot."

I took a pause before asking:  
"You said the only person who cared about you were your mom and...Snape. Snape? Really?"

"He knows, you know."

"About us?!" I asked in shock.

"Yes. He knows since the very beginning. I'm someone who needs to talk. Usually I would talk to my father but this...this I couldn't."

"So you turned to Snape?"

"Yeah. I told him I needed to talk. He's not as awful as he seemed."

"He killed Dumbledore."

"Yeah, for me. Well that's what I'm tempted to think. It was that or Voldemort would have killed me."

"And... he's fine with you dating me?"

"He hates you. And your father. But yes." He took a pause before continuing.  
"You know, it's the winter ball soon and I wanted to know if you'd come with me?" I turned around to face him so brusquely that he dropped the pen on the floor.

"But this means others would know."

"I know, but I'm tired of hiding. Also the idea of you dancing with a girl makes me want to puke."

I threw myself in his arms holding tight to his neck which took him by surprise but he hugged me back, holding my by the waist.

-

I was waiting for the day that he'd tell his friends but he kept saying that he was waiting for the right moment.  
When was the right moment?

The ball was now in 3 days and it was becoming a source of stress.

What if he gets scared and never comes? And then we'll never be able to kiss in front of people. I'll look like a total idiot at the ball.

I'm also tired of having to ignore him when we see each other in the hallways. I just want to hug him or even just talk with him.

We were in the common room and he was trying to make the stereo work.

"What are you even doing?" I asked sitting at the table

"Bloody machine! You'll see." He hit the thing twice and by miracle, it finally started working.  
"Finally!" He said as he sighed.

He walked in my direction and gave me his hand for me to grab. I took it and he helped me get up from my chair, placed his other hand behind my back and brought us closer.

"We need to practice for the ball." He said as he started dancing the steps which I followed.

I kept stepping on his feet but he was ignoring it. I had my head resting on his chest and I could hear his heart beat. 

I've never felt so safe in my entire life. The world was disappearing around me. He was the only thing that mattered. Feeling his hand on my back made me shiver. I didn't care about anything but him.  
I had my eyes closed and a smile on my face as we danced to the slow beat of the stereo. I was seeing happy memories in my head.

He held me tighter to him, pushed our bodies closer. I looked up to him in the eyes. What a pretty boy he is.  
I rested my forehead on his for the rest of our dance.

A little while after when at least 5 songs had already played, Draco broke the hug.  
For some reason I got emotional and a tear ran down my cheek.  
Draco looked at me with sadness in his eyes.

"Why are you crying, beautiful?" He asked as he wiped off my tear with his thumb.

"I'm scared to lose you. And it pains me. Every time I find someone who loves me, I ruin them. My parents, Cedric, Sirius, Remus, Fred-"

"Stop. None of them died because of you, Harry. They died for you."

"But without me they would still be here. What if you die for me too."

"Why are you even thinking about this right now? The threat is gone, Harry. The evil lost. No one's gonna hurt me."

"You can't leave me."

"I'm not going anywhere." He took a pause and continued. "I think you're a little tired. Am I right?" He said joking.

"Shut up. I'm not a kid." I replied laughing but still a little sad.

"Come here." He then pulled me into a hug and took me by surprise when he lifted me up in his arms as a prince would hold a princess.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm taking you to bed."

"But Draco, it's like 7PM."

"I don't care." And he did as he said.

He took me upstairs and gently put me in my bed. He joined me but he sat his back resting on the head of the bed. I put my head on his laps and he started playing in my hair, softly caressing them.

"Why do you always play in my hair."

"Because they're messy and soft. They smell good. They smell like you."

Even though I wasn't really tired, I still ended up falling asleep on Draco's laps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a sad turn I was listening to sad music lmao. But anyway I'm sorry the chapters have been pretty shitty. I've been having writer blocks but I'm trying my best.
> 
> Don’t forget to comment it means a lot I really love reading them uwu


	16. Relax

As I woke up, I wasn't surprised to be all alone in my bed.

Today was our first day back to class. I wasn't particularly looking forward to it because I knew it meant Draco would still ignore me and the more he did, the more it was saddening me.

"Get up, Ron." I said to him as I threw my pillow on his face.

"I don't want to." He groaned.

"Have you asked Hermione to the bal yet?"

"Shit! Forgot about it." He then instantly got up and ran downstairs.

Idiot.  
I sighed and followed him.  
I didn't go all the way down the stairs because I wanted to give them privacy.

Hermione was sitting at the table reading her book with her usual morning cup of tea.

"Hey, Mione-nee!" Said Ron trying to act cool but pathetically failed.

Hermione put her book down and looked at him in disgust.

"How did you just called me?"

"Yeah that was sort of stupid, sorry."

"Not sort of. It was stupid. Anyway I'm busy reading."

"Well." He said extending the "ell" for a bit too long. "I was wondering if..." he turned around looking at me unsure of what to say and all I did was give him a thumbs up. 

Neville was behind me watching the whole thing as if he was watching a romantic comedy.

"Are you gonna talk?" Asked Hermione getting impatient.

He sat in the chair next to her.

"If you'd like to go to the bal?"

"Yes I was planning on going?" She said not sure of what he wanted.

"I meant with me. Would you come with me."

"Yes. I'd love too." She finally answered with a cute smile on her face and blushing on her cheeks.

"Yes!" Exclaimed Ron as he stood up and giggled.  
"Knowing my mom, she's gonna send me something ridiculous to wear so sorry in advance." He said before running upstairs, giving me a high five on the way.

Instead of going upstairs with him, since I was already fully dressed and ready, I sat with Hermione with Neville, him being next to me and me facing her.

"He finally asked you." I said

"Yes. Took him eight years." She replied still looking into her book.

"Did anyone asked you?" Asked me Neville.

I smiled and answered: "In fact, yes. Draco asked me but..." my smile faded away.  
"I don't if we're still going."

"Why's that?" Asked Hermione putting her book down looking a little concerned.

"No one knows about us. We can't just go and then come out. It would have been different if we were different people but I'm...I'm the boy who lived, you know."

"Then just come out." Said Neville.

"It's not that easy. Especially for Draco. Slytherins can be really close-minded."

"We should go to the great hall now or we're gonna be late." Said Ron as he was coming running down the stairs.

We all stood up and followed his lead. Hermione took her book with her and let her cup of tea there.

Once we sat, Ron started eating like a pig, putting food everywhere on the table and his face.

"Harry." Whispered Hermione, indicating me to look behind me with her eyes.

I turned around and Draco was starring at me. I quickly turned around and I felt myself starting to blush.

I turned around again by curiosity to see if he was still looking at me and he was. I smiled to him and he winked at me with a smirky on his face.

This affected me more than it should have. I felt butterflies in my stomach and I just wanted to run to him and kiss him.

In our first class, same thing. He spent the entire time looking at me.   
People in the class were starting to notice and it was making me nervous.

The more I thought about it, the more I got anxious.  
If I'm getting nervous that people are noticing Draco and I acting romantic, it means I'm not ready to let everyone know that I'm gay for him.  
But I want to be. I want to stop hiding and to kiss him whenever I want. I want him to be free minded and to stop worrying what his dad is going to think.

Our last class had just finished and Ron, Hermione and I were casually talking in the hallways. My back was leaned on the wall and Ron was to the left of me. Hermione was sitting on the floor, doing her homework.

"Hey, beautiful!" Shouted someone from far away.

I recognized his voice. It was Draco. He was with his friends who were looking at him with interrogation in their eyes because of the word he used to call me. He was at the end of the hallway. Everyone who heard became silent and were looking at me.

He jumped off the ramp he was sitting on and started walking in my direction with confidence.  
My heart stopped beating. I knew what he was up to. He knew what he was going to do.

He was getting closer to me people were waiting with impatience to see what in the world was going to happen.

He was finally in front of me, smiling.  
He grabbed me by the waist and pulled me closer to him. I started to breath faster and my heart was pounding extremely fast.

He leaned in front of my ear and whispered to me.

"Relax, baby."

"Why now?" I asked almost Whispering for only him to hear.

"Because I couldn't stand another day without kissing you." He whispered again before he changed his head direction leaning his forehead on mine.

I could see from the corner of my eyes, everyone was in shock and judging. I could hear whispers of gossip but none of that mattered.

He slowly tilted his head a little bit making our lips almost touch.  
He pulled away and took my face in his big cold hands.

"I love you." He said looking directly into my soul before dropping a true passionate kiss on my lips.

"What in the bloody hell, Draco?!" Shouted Goyle taking us both by surprise.

He was walking furiously in our direction with the rest of Draco's friends following.

Draco let go of me and started to walk in Goyle's direction. Once the were both face to face, Draco put his arm in front of him to stop Goyle from moving forward but he pushed Draco and continued getting closer to me.

Once he was arrived to me he didn't stop walking and pushed me right on the chest making me almost trip on the ground.

"What have you done to him? Some Amortentia?" He spat to me

"Don't fucking touch him." Yelled Draco as he punched Goyle in the face.

But Goyle punched Draco back right in the eye making him fall to the ground


	17. He Will Know

I talked to the nurse and she said it would be safer if Draco spent the night here to make sure he was going to be alright.

He was sleeping on the uncomfortable mattress and I was sitting on the chair next to it for him to wake up.

His right eye was all puffy and red. I hated seeing him like this. That Goyle piece of trash was going to pay for what he did to Draco.  
He stole our moment. He stole Draco's moment. That was his coming out.

I was so proud of him. He didn't have to be afraid to express who he was anymore. Maybe Lucius wasn't gonna like it but we didn't care. We were gonna show our love to everyone and even rub it in their faces.

"Mr. Potter." I looked up to see the headmistress McGonagall walking in my direction.

She seemed a little sad.

"I just wanted to..." she took a pause, looking for her words.  
"To congratulate you on your...relationship."

"Thank you." I awkwardly said. 

This isn't usually what you talk about with your teachers.

"But..." She took another pause.  
"Draco is facing some severe consequences." She said.

"Why's that?!" I asked a little angry.

"Well... he got into a fight. Again."

"He wasn't fighting. He was defending m'am."

"Harry I'm sorry but-" I stood up from my chair from impulsivity.

"This was a hate crime! If he wouldn't have been there, I would have been the one in the bed!"

"I know, Potter but-" she was talking calmly but I was still cutting her

"This is unfair!"

"I'm sorry, Harry but I don't make the rules here-"

"Yes! Yes you do! You're the headmistress!"

"Potter! That's enough!" She spat taking me by surprise as she raised her voice at me.

I sat down in my chair again, apologizing for my behaviour.

"I understand your frustrations but this isn't his first warning." She pursued.

I sighed.

She then left but I ran to her.

"What is it? The consequence."

"I have talked to him about it in the past. He will know."

"But I want to know. Is he expelled?"

"Oh no." She said reassuring me.  
"But he won't be able to go to the winter bal." She said as she closed the door behind her leaving me alone with a bunch of empty beds and Draco still sleeping.

My heart broke in pieces. He couldn't go to the bal. But I wanted to go with him. It meant so much.

"Harry?" It was Draco.

His voice was hoarse like it is in the morning which made sense since he had just woke up.  
I ran up to him.

I kneeled once arrived to his bed so that I could be at his height. I place one hand on his forehead as if I was taking his temperature to make sure he was okay.

"I should call the nurse." I said quite worried.

"No I'm fine." He replied, with a smile

"Draco, what they did to you is awful and pathetic." He then tried to sit in the bed but his body was too tired from the shock it received.

"How's Goyle?"

"I don't know. Why would it matter?" I asked getting angry.

"It doesn't. Am I in trouble?"

"Yes." I answered looking sad.  
"She won't let you go to the bal. You need to stop getting into those fights."

I truly hated seeing him doing this stuff. I didn't like the angry Draco.

"And what was I supposed to do?"

"I can defend myself."

"And then you get hurt? You get in trouble. No. That's a me thing. I'm the one who deserves it."

"Don't say that." I started gently playing in his hair.

"Harry, I was the one in love with you. If I would've confessed, you wouldn't care if I'm in a hospital bed."

"Maybe at first I wasn't truly madly in love with you, but I still had feelings for you. I would hide them deep down."

"Get in." He said as he made place for me in the tiny bed.

I placed myself next to him but this time he was the one to rest his head on my chest.

"Am I even allowed to do this?" I asked as a continued playing in his hair.

They were so soft and the perfect shade of colour. I liked them so much. The platinum colour was so pretty on him. Due to him just waking up, his hair were a little wavy and even if I really liked his straight hair, this style really looked amazing on him.

I was fighting to not fall asleep because I knew Draco wasn't so tired since he had just woke up from a 6 hours nap. 

"I'm sorry." He said as he sighed.

"For what?"

"The bal. I know you really wanted to go. I messed up. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Draco. It's not that much of a big deal."

"No I'm serious. I know it meant a lot to you. You can't convince me otherwise."

"I'm just glad you're okay."

"Do I look awful?" I laughed.

"Of course not, Princess."

"Don't call me that. I mean the eye. Is it really bad?"

"Looks quite painful. But you'll never look awful."

"I know that. I'm always hot."

"Stop ruining the moment and let me rassure you."

Sleep was getting harder and harder to fight. I couldn't help but rest my eyes.

"I'll change things."

"You'll what?"

"I'm going to fix this. We'll go to the bal."


	18. Pictured

I woke up the next morning with pain in my neck from the uncomfortable sitting position I fell asleep in.

Draco was still sleeping and his eye looked way better than it did last night. I didn't want to wake him up. He looked so peaceful.

But I had to get ready for class so I gently and slowly lifted him up since he was resting his head on my chest. I got out of bed, dropped a kiss on his forehead and started walking away but before I could, Draco grabbed my wrist with his hand.

I jumped from surprise since I thought he was sleeping.

"Where are you going?" He asked letting go of my wrist.

"Getting ready for class which you should do as well."

"Come here." He ordered as he made me sign to come closer with his finger.

I did but as soon as he got the chance, he stretched a little bit, grabbed me by the waist in a way of being forced to follow his movement which made me trip and fall into the bed.

Everything happened fast and I was all disoriented.

He brought me into a tight hug as if I was his new favourite teddy bear.

"Draco, let go or I'll be late."

"No stay."

"Draco."

"Stay." He said with a more persistent voice.

I sighed and tried to get out of bed and break Draco's hug.

"Can I at least have a good bye kiss?"

I rolled my eyes and bended to reach him since he was still laying down in bed. I gave him a short kiss on his lips before pulling back.

"Class starts soon. You should get ready."

"No I have something to do first."

"You can't just skip class."

"I sure can. Our first period is dada."

"Oh. Snape's class." There was a pause of silence.  
"Well I should keep going. And tonight's the bal. I think I'll go by myself. Or with Luna again. Or cho." I looked at his face and he looked disgusted.

"Cho? Really? And Luna? Always talking nonsense that girl."

"Don't be jealous."

"I'm not jealous, I'm disgusted."

"Don't be mean. They're my friends."

"Well, Cho definitely wants to be more that that."

"What?"

"You're blind, aren't you." He said sarcastically, as he sat in the bed.  
"She's always looking at you like you're some sort of prize to win."

"No she's not. You're exaggerating. Now goodbye I need to go." I quickly said as I dropped a kiss on his forehead before leaving him all alone.

I still had to stop to the dormitory to get my book. Since I went to Draco straight after dinner, I was already clothed with my uniform.

As I entered I saw Ron and Neville talking. Waiting for the time we had to go in class, I joined them.

"I'm so nervous, what if I step on her feet?!" Said Ron panicking, talking about the bal.

"Don't worry, mate. If you step on her foot, she'll probably stop dancing with you so you won't stress about it anymore."

"Not helpful, Neville."

"Hey guys." I said interrupting their conversation.

"What are you gonna wear tonight."

"I don't know if I'm going." On my words, both Neville and Ron looked very surprised.

"Why's that? I thought you really wanted to go? With Draco." Exclaimed Neville.

"He can't go anymore."

"What happened?"

"Well he punched someone."

"Are you joking?" Angrily said Ron. "It was Goyle or you!"

We talked like that until it was class time. Hermione had join us

Snape was, as always, in a bad mood. He wasn't even taking questions and would just tell us to look in the book after class.  
It was so boring we did nothing. The entire class he talked with his monotoned voice.

Then I pictured him listening to Draco's gossip about me.  
I was imagining him, sipping on his tea as he pretend to be listening to Draco renting about me.

"You won't believe what happened today!" Said Draco as he entered Snape's office.  
"I was walking with Pansy and Blaise when I saw Harry."

"Mmhm" hummed Severus as he continued reading his news paper.

"He was talking to that ugly tall boy, Diggory."

"Well, well." Replied Snape not even a bit interested in Draco's misadventure.

"And guess what!"

"Tell me."

Draco was so intense into telling his stories to Snape that he would never notice how bored Snape looked or how nonattentive he was as he would be doing something else.

"Harry smiled the entire conversation!"

"How sad." Still no emotions could be sensed in his voice.

But Snape still enjoyed Draco trusting him enough to tell him such things as his crush on me.

"He doesn't do that with me. Ever! The only time he smiled at me was when Hermione punched me!"

"Well maybe if you wouldn't be so mean to the boy, he would consider your..." Snape paused to find the correct word. "Affection."

Draco finally turned around to see Snape sitting at his desk.

"What do you mean?! I don't have affection for him!"

"It's what they all say and next thing you know, she's having his baby." He said finishing with a sip of tea.

"What? He's a boy he can't get pregnant?" Said Draco looking very confused but Snape wasn't referring to me, obviously.

"Potter! You stay after class." Said Snape snapping me back to reality.

Was it that obvious that I wasn't listening?  
I groaned from anger and disappointment and went back to my fantasy.

"You think I still have a chance?"

"Is the boy even gay, Malfoy?"

"Maybe. Maybe he's bisexual." Snape rolled his eyes.

"I cannot believe I'm saying this but, you should be nicer to Potter."

"How can I? I'm gonna make a fool of myself. And my father! What is he going to think?! You're not telling him any of this, right?!" Said Draco starting to overthink and panic.

"Of course not, Malfoy. This is our...secret."

Even though Snape seemed like a very mean person, he could actually be a very nice person when it came to Draco.

Wait no. That doesn't work

Even though Snape was an awful human being and a murder, he was, by miracle, a nice person when it came to Draco.

Better.

Draco was for him, like the son he never had. Snape would always hate Lucius when he would treat Draco like if he was nothing.

Snape saw the potential in Draco and knew he could become a great wizard and a caring person if you would give him the attention he needed.

"Class is over. Everyone out." Said Snape bringing me back to reality once again.

He flipped his hair back and walked in the direction of my table.

"You wanted to talk, sir?" I said.

"Yes. It's about Draco." He said lowering his voice.

My heart skipped a beat. Why would he want to talk about Draco to me.

"He asked me a favour this morning." I looked at him my eyes wide open from anxiety waiting for him to continue.  
"I talked to the McGonagall and you two can go to the bal." On his words, I gasped.

"Thanks you." I simply said.

He nodded his head as a "no problem".

I left the classroom and rushed a bit so that I could join Ron.

"Are you in trouble?"

"No. He made Draco go to the bal."


	19. Fade Away

I was in my room, in front of a mirror trying to adjust my bow tie.

* (this is a throwback)*  
After Snape told me Draco could go to the bal, I ran to the nursery to tell him the news but he wasn't there since he didn't need any medication. I found him in the hallway.

"Draco! We can go! The bal! We can go!" I yelled as I ran towards him.

He turned around to face me and he had a soft smile on his face.

"I know dummy. Who do you think asked him?" He yelled back sarcastically but less loud than I did since I was getting closer.

As I arrived to him, he opened his arms wide open and I threw myself at his neck and hugged him.

He held me tight in his arms and said "You know I'd do anything to make you happy." Whispering in my ear.

Him saying this felt weird because for all this time I knew him, he was mean to me. He was my only bully.

I could see Draco's friends looking at us disgusted.

"Why is Goyle still with you?" I said whispering as I broke the hug.

"Others didn't want him to leave. But you don't have to worry about him."

"I don't like him around. He's a prick."

"I'm a prick."  
*(back to present)*

"You look great. You don't need to worry." Said a masculine voice behind me. I turned around and Draco was standing with confidence.

"Isn't it bad luck to see each other before the bal?"

"This isn't a wedding, Harry."

He was wearing an all black tuxedo with a tie.

"You look great too." I said.

He put his arm in my direction, giving me his hand.

"We should get going." He said and I grabbed his hand.

We went downstairs and Ron was freaking out.

"What in the bloody hell is this?!" He said as he looked down to his outfit. I couldn't help but laugh.

He had a long robe looking like old wizards would wear but his was a bright yellow.

"Maybe wear just regular clothes."

"Of course I will! Are you mad?! I can't wear this! What is Hermione going to think."

"She's not gonna care, Ron." I said trying to rassure hi.

"I'm gonna change and just say my mum didn't send me anything."

Ron then disappeared upstairs and Draco and I continued our way the the great hall.

"Are you going to dance with me?" Asked Draco as we were walking still holding hands.

"Isn't that the point of a ball? To dance."

"Yeah but at the Yule ball you didn't dance much."

"How'd you know?"

"Because I was starring at you the entire time, idiot."

"Hey! I'm not an idiot." I said giving him a small punch on his arm and then putting my hand into his again.

There was something about the thought of Draco looking at me that made me feel some type of way. It was so weird but I think I knew why. It was because when I thought no one was caring about me, there was Draco.

When we arrived to the great hall, McGonagall greeted us with a smile.

There were adorable lights all over the walls. The roof was the sky at night with loads of bright shining stars.  
Snow was falling from the sky but would fade away before touching the ground.

A music from the classic genre was playing.

Draco started walking faster and he guided me as we were holding hands.

There was a lot of students and Draco decided to go in the middle of the great hall. Even if I liked it that he had...pride of being with me, I was still shy and not so at ease with all the looks we were getting.

Draco pulled me closer to him as he grabbed me by the waist with one hand and with the other, he took my hand and placed it in the air as McGonagall taught us to do.

We were dancing to the slow rythme of the music as we looked into each other's eyes.

I get a lot of compliments on my eyes but Draco's were definitely prettier. A light colour of grey. Not too intense but still special.

For a moment, Draco looked distracted.

"She's starring at us." He said looking angry.

"Who?" I slightly turned around to try and see who he was referring to but he brusquely turned me back looking at him with his hand that was still on my waist.

"Cho. She's starring at you." I rolled my eyes.

"Everyone's starring at us Draco."

"Let's give her a show." He said with bad intention in his voice.

"No. I've been the one who has all the attention since I'm ten. Everyone recognizes me everywhere I go. And now I'm dating a guy."

"I'm dating a celebrity." He said joking finally looking back at me.

"Shut up."

"Just one kiss." I rolled my eyes

"Alright." He smirked at me.

He started kissing my lips with tenderness at first but then the kiss transformed into a hot make out session.

He slipped his tongue inside my mouth and was moving it around.

"Malfoy! Potter! This isn't very appropriate!" Snapped McGonagall.

Before fully pulling away from the kiss, Draco bit my lower lip.

"Anyway, you don't have to worry about her. You're the only one that matters. I love you." I said as we were still dancing

"I love you too."

"But I love you more." I said reassuring him.

"No you don't." He said looking down painfully smiling.

"Why'd say that?" I said caressing his cheek.

"Because I'm the one who loves you more. I was the one to make you love me. I was the one to love you. I still don't know how you liked me back."

"I always did. I always had some sort of growing crush for you." He smiled to me.

I looked over Draco's shoulder to see Hermione and Ron dancing like Draco and I were, totally ignoring the people around them.

The ball was now close to and end and the songs were now more rock, more modern.

I was sweating my ass off from dancing too much.

I've never thought I would enjoy this one day, dancing like crazy with people around  
There was a crowd of people jumping and dancing around to the beat of the music.  
Everyone had messy hair and almost all boys had a loose bow tie and lost their vest, only wearing the white shirt, or black shirt in Draco's case.

I couldn't help but smile. This was a genuine happy moment. Draco was jumping in front of me, sometimes stepping on my feet but I wouldn't care.

"It's so hot in here!" I yelled to Draco since the music was pretty loud.

"Yeah you're hot!" I laughed. He took my hand and made me follow him. He got us out of the crowd.  
"Let's get out of here." He said walking out of the great hall.

"Where are we going?"

"Finding privacy." He said as he walked faster, making it hard for me to follow.

After a bit we arrived to the slytherin common room.

I've never seen it before and was really impressed. It was bigger than the Gryffindor's.


	20. Morning-Draco

Draco come closer to me looking down at me with a smirk on his face.

"We're alone." He simply said. I hardly swallowed showing I was intimidated.  
"Don't be scared." He continued as he kissed my neck.

He then took my hand and guided me to his room. There was a bunch of beds but I actually could easily recognize his since there was my scarf next to his pillow.

I let him borrow it about four days ago for when he couldn't come sleep with me. He said he wanted it because it smelled like me.

He pinned me to the wall holding one of my hand up and blocking me the way as he pressed his body against mine. He was still kissing my neck and I was giving him all control of my body.

I felt so nervous that someone could come in at any time but I also kind of liked it.  
His lips pressing against my skin were driving me crazy. I wanted more and I needed more.

I took my other hand that he wasn't holding to the wall and pushed him away. I pushed him until he fell in his bed. I was now the one in charge. I started loosing his tie and passing it over his head. I so aggressively unbuttoned his blazer that the buttons at the bottom could have flew away. 

I was still on high energy because of the rush of adrenaline I had earlier has we danced.

"I didn't know you could be bossy, Potter." He said looking at my hands unbuttoning his black shirt. 

"Shut up, Malfoy." I replied as I took my index and lifted his chin up so that he would look at me.

Next thing I did was kiss him with passion. I leaned forward so Draco was now laying on his back and I was almost laying on him.

"What in the bloody hell?!" As soon as I heard the voice I jumped off Draco.

I was standing awkwardly and Draco simply layed on his elbows.

It was Crabbe and Zabini.  
I felt my cheeks turning extremely red.

"That's gay and disgusting find somewhere else to shag!" Continued Crabbe.

Blaise just sat on his bed and didn't mind us at all. Like if Draco wasn't half naked.

"It is, in fact, gay." Said Draco as he stood up and gently pushed me away like if he didn't want me to interfere. "But it's not disgusting." He pursued starting to get angry and slowly walking into Crabbe's direction.  
"And no, I won't find another place to have fun with my boyfriend!" Every time he called me his boyfriend I would feel my knees shaking.  
"This is my second home and I will do what I want with who I want. If you don't want to see, then sleep on the bloody couch!" Finished Draco as he was making Crabbe walk backwards.

"Fine. I'll warn others that there are fags in our room and that they should find another place to sleep." Spat Crabbe.

I stayed silent and so surprisingly did Draco.

Crabbe turned around and left the room.

"Well said, Malfoy." Added Blaise as he was looking into his book.

Draco turned around and walked to me.

"I'm sorry you had to assist to this." He apologized to me.

I sighed and sat in his bed.

"Even if I like it when you defend me, I hate seeing you like this."

"Like what?" He asked as he leaned his shoulder on the bed's column with his arms crossed.

"You get so agressive. I like morning-Draco more." On my words, he raised an eyebrow and smirked.

He leaned in my direction and pressed his hand on my parts. I gasped and pushed his hand away as he laughed.

"Blaise is just here, Draco!"

"Oh, he doesn't mind." He said still finding this funny.   
"You said you like morning-Draco. Well I'm always horny in the morning." He added.

I rolled my eyes.

"I meant the Draco who likes to cuddle."

"That's every-time-I'm-with-Potter-Draco." And he then contoured the bed to get in it but on the other side.

He slid himself in the blankets and I did the same.

I was still fully dressed but I was too shy to change while Blaise was here.   
Draco attempted to take his pants off and since I already took his shirt off, he was only wearing his underwear.

He put his hands on my belly and pulled me closer to him. We were now spooning.

"I'm glad you guys are finally together." Said Blaise looking at us.  
"Draco finally shut his mouth."

I looked behind my shoulder to Draco in confusion and he rolled his eyes to Blaise.

"I wasn't talking this much about him."

"Pottah here, Pottah there. Blaise! Pottah looked at me today!" Mocked Blaise as he imitated Draco's strong english accent.

"I don't talk like that!" Responded Draco defending himself.

I couldn't help but laugh.

"Yes you kind of do." I said.

We talked a bit with Zabini before closing our eyes and going to bed.

The next morning I felt great. I slept like a baby from being so tired because we danced to much last night.

I didn't want to get up yet because I didn't want all other Slytherins to judge me so I waited for Draco to wake up.

I loved watching him peacefully sleeping and as weird as it sounds, I liked hearing him breathing.

I noticed his dark mark on his arm. As much as I hated what it meant, I still liked the way it looked. I took my finger tip and started tracing the tattoo. Starting with the eyes of the skull, then the end of the snake all the way up to it's head.

Draco then suddenly put his arm away taking me by surprise.

"Don't look at it." He said sounding angry.

"It's ok Draco. I know it's your past now."

"It's awful. Don't touch or look at it." I looked up to him and there was true anger in his eyes.

"I don't care. This is how you survived. It wasn't a choice, I'm aware of that."

Draco truly looked sad. I know he regrets his past. I know he hates who he were but he can't change the past. Being a death eater is how he got to be alive right now and for that I will always be thankful.

After a bit I got up and got rid of my clothes. Blaise was probably in the common room. I threw on the first thing I found which was an extremely large hoodie that belonged to Draco. I also saw a pair of black shorts and put them on.

Is this what Draco wears in the morning?

I went downstairs and as I arrived to the common room, all slytherins were looking at me with disgust. There was only Pansy who was looking at me with a smile. She walked to me.

"This gay thing is new for me but Draco is like a brother so I'll support him no matter what. You need anything? Tea?"

"Let him go Parkinson." Said Draco from behind me.

He was wearing joggings and a hoodie like me but black. So this really was what he wore in the morning.

"Looking pretty in those shorts, Potter." Said Draco as he grabbed my ass making me jump.

The other slytherin's reaction was incredible. Everyone looked so offended and Draco liked to play with them.

After a bit everyone understood that I wasn't going anywhere and minded their business. Pansy was asking me so many questions about Hermione saying she always wanted to be her friend. When I thought about it, they both really didn't have a lot a girl friends. Maybe I should introduce them to each other.

Draco and I then wanted a bit of fresh air and decided to take a walk only the both of us.

"Harry?" Asked Draco.  
"Was I you're first?"

"First?"

"Sexual relationships."I felt myself blushing on his words.

"Yeah. Was I yours?"

"No. Romantic, yes. But not sexual."

"He or she?"

"He, obviously. It was this summer actually. Just once. I didn't really like it. It wasn't like it is with you. With you it's perfect."


	21. You’ll see

"Harry!!" Said Hermione running towards me.  
"How was the ball?! How was your night! Oh my goddess, Harry, I have so many things to tell you!" She exclaimed with a huge smile on her face.

I laughed. Seeing her really happy like this was nice. Since the war she wasn't the same. She wasn't shinning as bright as she used to. 

"Tell me how was the ball with Ron. He was nervous wasn't he?" I asked.

"Unbelievably clumsy. He kept messing up the steps but that's why I love him you know?" She answered.

As she was talking to me about him, I could see her eyes shining bright. She was adorable.

"He said he loved my dress I don't know how many times. At least a dozen times." She continued talking about their night and then she asked how was mine.

"It was perfect. We danced and then we went to bed."

"That's it?" She asked looking disappointed.

"Did you know Blaise is actually very nice?"

We sat in the hallway and talked for a bit. Then Draco came walking towards us and sat next to me.

"Hi beautiful." He said dropping a kiss on my forehead.  
My cheeks turned red and Hermione smiled. Draco took my hand and started playing with my fingers as we both listened to Hermione talking about Ron.

"Where is he anyway, Ron? Class starts soon." I asked to her.

"Still sleeping I'm guessing. Maybe we should wake him up?" She replied.

The three of us stood up and started walking towards the Gryffindor dormitory. Before I could start climbing the stairs Draco took my hand and asked:

"Can I talk to you alone for a bit?" I nodded yes and Hermione said she would meet us in class.  
"My parents are out of town this weekend. Maybe we could go? You could come to my house again but this time no one's gonna try to kill you." He said laughing.

"I'd love too." I answered laughing before kissing him.

The week went by pretty fast. I didn't go to the Gryffindor common room once. I would sleep in Draco's bed. I loved how it smelled. He insisted that we would sleep in my bed but I prefer his. Plus it gave me an opportunity to be friends with Pansy and Blaise. They're both actually very nice people. Pansy can act a little annoyingly sometimes. She treats me like I'm a child or Draco's pet but at least she's not being rude like Crabbe. He couldn't bare my presence. Not a lot of Slytherins did. But Crabbe was the worst. Draco made it clear that he didn't want to hear a word from him so every time I would come, he would leave. I have absolutely no idea where he sleeps but it's not in his bed that's for sure.

It was Saturday morning and we were getting ready for our weekend. Once again, we borrowed Hagrid's motorcycle. I fell asleep as we traveled.

Once we were arrived, Draco gently shook me to wake me up. In front of me was the enormous manor I've already been to.

We went upstairs and I put my bag with all my clothes in it under the bed. I sat on the bed at looked at Draco's room. It was very big and luxurious. The walls were dark, matching the rest of the house.

Draco took a book and then came into the bed, his back leaning on the head of the bed. I came closer and rested my head on his chest. He flipped the book and started reading the resume out loud.

"Welcome to Derry, Maine. It's a small city, a place as hauntingly familiar as your own hometown. Only in Derry the haunting is real."

"What's the book?"

"It."

"It what?"

"It is the title. It's an horror book. It is the thing that's hunting the town. It can take multiple forms but it's usually a clown."

"What does he do?"

"You'll see."

He opened the book and started reading the first page. I wasn't really focusing on the words Draco would say but more on his voice. I'd rather listen to him talking then listening to any music in the world.

Half way in the book, Draco got tired and went downstairs to take another one. I was looking at Draco's stuff on his shelf when i heard a loud noise coming from downstairs. It sounded like something heavy was thrown on the floor. I didn't give it much attention but then I started hearing someone coming upstairs and suddenly, the bedroom door smashed. Draco came running towards me. He brusquely grabbed me by the shoulders to get my attention. He was terrified and sweating. I had no idea what was going on and felt lost. 

"Harry get out of here!" Said Draco out of breath from panicking.

"Wha- what's happening? Are you alrigh-" I couldn't finish my sentence and he cut me off.

"My father is home. Get out! Escape! He knows!"

At first I hesitated because I didn't think Lucius could really be capable to hurt me but Draco wouldn't be such a mess if I was right.

Before I could get away, Lucius entered the room.

"Get away from him!!" Yelled Draco.

I walked backwards until my back hit the wall. Lucius had a terrifying smile on his face.  
What in the world was happening.

"I'm not gonna hurt him." Said Lucius.

I tried to search for my wand on me but I left it by the bed.

"I'm gonna hurt you. Punish you for the shame you put on your family." He finished.

Lucius started rising his wand and pointing it in Draco's direction.

Before even thinking I threw myself in front of him screamed "Nooo!"

"Oh, this gives me an idea." Said Lucius with a demonic smile again.

Draco was staying silent in the corner. He was scared. He was terrified. I had my hand back so he could hold it.

Lucius raised his wand at me. I closed my eyes tightly.

"Obliviate!"

I saw a vague green glow through my closed eyes..-

*Draco's pov*

I was downstairs looking in the library for any books Harry would love when I heard the front door opening. For a moment I was confused because I had no clue Harry was outside but then I saw my dad standing in front of me.

"Where is he?" He said.

Bloody hell. He knows.

"Who?" I said trying to look innocent.

"I'm not stupid, Draco. Where's your friend?" He continued but this time a little more angry.

"There's no one here."

"How dare you lie to my face! I heard! You and Potter have been getting into each other's pants!" He said atrociously offended.

"This is ridiculous! Just listen to yourself!"

He then punched me to the wall.

"You are a disgrace to this family! Be ashamed of yourself!"

"Leave me!" I screamed at him but he punched me again, in the stomach this time making me cough.  
"Wait till mother hears about this!"

"Narcissa will not hear a word about this because you'll be gone! Banned! You'll die alone with no family because you don't deserve anything of the sort!"

"I have him! It's all I need!"

"No you don't! He doesn't love you! All this time I thought you were smart but look how naive you are! To believe someone loves you! You! You're just a pathetic failure and will always be! You'll regret ever talking to this boy after I'm done with you two! Where is he?!"

He took his wand and started going upstairs but I took my wand too and pointed it in his direction before saying:

"Stupefy!!"

He then flew down the stairs he had climbed up, giving me time to go and meet Harry.

I ran as fast as I could, burst into the room smashing the door.

"Harry get out of here!" I said.

"Wha- what's happening? Are you alrigh-" he replied but i cut him off

"My father is home. Get out! Escape! He knows!"

I looked into his eyes and he was horribly confused.  
My father then walked into the room. He had this horrible smile on his face. 

"Get away from him!!" I screamed at him.

"I'm not gonna hurt him." Said my dad looking like a psychopath.  
"I'm gonna hurt you. Punish you for the shame you put on your family." He finished.

He then started rising his wand to me but in a second Harry was now in front of me, protecting me.

"Oh, this gives me an idea." Said my dad.

I was terrified behind Harry. The worst was that I couldn't protect him. He then put his hand behind him and I took.

"Obliviate!"

Harry's body then fell on me. I caught him and looked at his closed eyes in fear. He then started blinking.

"Harry!" I exclaimed with joy.

"Not so loud." He said with a grumpy voice.  
"Who? Who's Harry?"

No

"I'm sorry but" he took a pause and looked around him.  
"Why am I in your arms, and who am I? And what is this place?"

Lucius left us without saying a word.

My heart, it was hurting so much. That was it. I just lost Harry. We all did.

"Why are you crying, mate?" He asked leaving my arms.

It was over. All of it. Over. This was the end. This was our end. No more kisses. No more cuddles. No more paper birds. No more poems.

No more Harry.

I buried my face in my hands, crying. Harry hugged me and I placed my arms around his waist hugging him extremely tight, pushing our bodies impossibly close to each other's.

This was our last hug. Our last loving moment.

As odd as it sounded, I had to smell him one more time. He smelled like home, he smelled safe. His arms were the safest place in the world. No one could hurt me when he hugged me. The world around me would disappear every time I would look into his eyes. His bright blue eyes. His ocean eyes. And his voice. His voice was so angelic it could make anyone forget about their problems. His touch was so soft, his soul so pure, his hands so majestic, his smile so lovely.

And now I lost all of it.  
I lost Harry.

This was our end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading xxx
> 
> Leave comments if you want I love reading them


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